Jane Heller

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author

Great Win (And Gatorade Shower)

gatorade-shower-head-wall-mounted-2013-dave-delisle-davesgeekyideas

I miss pie, but I’ll take the Gatorade any day. Was that a fun win or what? And I loved that it was “little” Brett Gardner who picked up the bucket of sticky stuff and dumped it on Wells after the walk off.

Nova deserved to have the offense pick him up. He was sensational except for one measly pitch, and he went the full nine innings. Wow. He even made a good play to cover first base.

Johnson, the O’s closer, helped the Yanks out when he couldn’t find the plate, but full credit goes to our hitters for being patient and to Wells for getting a pitch he could hit and hitting it. I keep reading how hard he’s been working to get his swing right, and the work paid off big time.

Cano was beautiful to watch defensively tonight. So smooth.

It was one thing to sweep the Twins, but it’s another to get swept in Baltimore and then come back and win Game 1 of the series against the O’s at the Stadium. More please, Yankees.

Fear The Z

Zoilo-Almonte-4

Another good game for the Z Man, including an appearance late in the game in which he was unintentionally/intentionally walked, which drove in a run and allowed for Vernon Wells to step in as a pinch hitter and crush the ball against a guy throwing 98 mph. What struck me about that sequence, aside from the fact that Wells has been in a deep slump but somehow got a crucial hit (I was yelling at Girardi for putting him in and had to apologize), was Zoilo’s poise during his at-bat. He didn’t “swing from his heels,” as either Coney or O’Neill said, but simply waited for a strike. No hurry, no choking, just a relaxed approach.

Why did CC give up two homers, including a grand slam? Beats me, but he got the win. More importantly, the offense backed him with solid run support. Nice, nice victory in the Bronx today.

5 Hours & 35 Minutes of Torture

OK, I can’t claim that I sat through the entire ordeal. The game started at 12:30 here in California and I worked until late afternoon. I figured it was long over by the time I went online to check the score and was surprised to see the Yanks and A’s locked in a 2-2 tie in the 8th. I pulled up a chair and settled in to watch. And settled in. And settled in. I could not believe all the scoring opportunities that went nowhere. It was an exercise in futility. When Tex popped up with the bases loaded I went especially mental.

The stats for guys like Wells, Youkilis and Hafner were brutal, but at least Wells made an incredible throw that saved a run and nearly cost Stewart his head in the collision at the plate. The pitching was uniformly great, with essentially two starts by Kuroda  and then Adam Warren. But the second Girardi brought Mo in, I cringed. I didn’t like the fact that it wasn’t a save situation or that he’d gotten up earlier in the game and sat back down. It was just a feeling that he’d blow it. On the other hand, somebody had to be the goat because the Yankees were not about to score any runs. Not this crew.

Here’s what I’d do if I were Cashman. I’d package up Hughes and ship him to a team with a good offensive player and slide Warren into the rotation. But more likely, there will be call ups coming for the rest of this road trip with somebody (perhaps Warren) getting sent down. Maybe Overbay will be DFA-ed too. All I know is that getting swept by the A’s isn’t a terrible thing on the face of it. It’s how we got swept that stings. This team is just not very good right now.

 

5 Hours & 35 Minutes of Torture

OK, I can’t claim that I sat through the entire ordeal. The game started at 12:30 here in California and I worked until late afternoon. I figured it was long over by the time I went online to check the score and was surprised to see the Yanks and A’s locked in a 2-2 tie in the 8th. I pulled up a chair and settled in to watch. And settled in. And settled in. I could not believe all the scoring opportunities that went nowhere. It was an exercise in futility. When Tex popped up with the bases loaded I went especially mental.

The stats for guys like Wells, Youkilis and Hafner were brutal, but at least Wells made an incredible throw that saved a run and nearly cost Stewart his head in the collision at the plate. The pitching was uniformly great, with essentially two starts by Kuroda  and then Adam Warren. But the second Girardi brought Mo in, I cringed. I didn’t like the fact that it wasn’t a save situation or that he’d gotten up earlier in the game and sat back down. It was just a feeling that he’d blow it. On the other hand, somebody had to be the goat because the Yankees were not about to score any runs. Not this crew.

Here’s what I’d do if I were Cashman. I’d package up Hughes and ship him to a team with a good offensive player and slide Warren into the rotation. But more likely, there will be call ups coming for the rest of this road trip with somebody (perhaps Warren) getting sent down. Maybe Overbay will be DFA-ed too. All I know is that getting swept by the A’s isn’t a terrible thing on the face of it. It’s how we got swept that stings. This team is just not very good right now.

 

I’m Really Mad

I’ve tried to like Phil Hughes. God knows I’ve tried. I’ve praised him when he’s pitched well, even though I’ve always thought he was inconsistent, overrated by the organization and certain to sign somewhere else next season. And he only had one bad inning tonight, unless you consider all the batters he went to 3-2 on and couldn’t put away, driving up his pitch count and making the game painful to watch.

But it was The Bad Inning that sent me over the edge. I didn’t agree with Girardi’s decision to walk Ortiz, but whatever. Up came Napoli with the bases loaded. Napoli is Mr. Strikeout, yes, but he’s also Mr. Home Run Hitter, which is a lethal combination when you’re talking about a home run pitcher. The result was so predictable it was sickening. Hughes was up 0-2 on Napoli and still served a fat one.

I just couldn’t stand it and nearly turned the game off. But I hung around to watch the Adam Warren fiasco. Also troubling was the Vernon Wells lookalike playing left field. How many balls did he not catch or not run after or not move toward? I lost count. He was infuriating.

So while it was just one game and not a big deal in the larger scheme of things, it made me nuts. Hughes made me nuts. I’m sure he’s a great guy and very deserving of success. I just hope he finds that success in the National League.

I'm Really Mad

I’ve tried to like Phil Hughes. God knows I’ve tried. I’ve praised him when he’s pitched well, even though I’ve always thought he was inconsistent, overrated by the organization and certain to sign somewhere else next season. And he only had one bad inning tonight, unless you consider all the batters he went to 3-2 on and couldn’t put away, driving up his pitch count and making the game painful to watch.

But it was The Bad Inning that sent me over the edge. I didn’t agree with Girardi’s decision to walk Ortiz, but whatever. Up came Napoli with the bases loaded. Napoli is Mr. Strikeout, yes, but he’s also Mr. Home Run Hitter, which is a lethal combination when you’re talking about a home run pitcher. The result was so predictable it was sickening. Hughes was up 0-2 on Napoli and still served a fat one.

I just couldn’t stand it and nearly turned the game off. But I hung around to watch the Adam Warren fiasco. Also troubling was the Vernon Wells lookalike playing left field. How many balls did he not catch or not run after or not move toward? I lost count. He was infuriating.

So while it was just one game and not a big deal in the larger scheme of things, it made me nuts. Hughes made me nuts. I’m sure he’s a great guy and very deserving of success. I just hope he finds that success in the National League.

Nice Way To Close Out The Weekend

Today’s finale in KC was efficient, tidy and satisfying. Kuroda was great, as was Mo. Somebody suggested on Twitter that, given the Joba flap (see previous post), Mo’s new entrance music should be “Enter Shushman” instead of “Enter Sandman.”

And Vernon Wells. Are there enough superlatives for him right now? The man has been positively resurrected from the dead.

Tomorrow’s doubleheader in Cleveland should be interesting since the roster’s so thin and Nova isn’t healthy enough to pitch (what’s up with that?). I just hope they get through it in one piece.

 

The “B” Team Is Playing “A” Team Baseball

Photo: Mark Blinch/Reuters

This is just crazy. Fun but crazy. If you told me that Vernon Wells would become indispensable to the Yankees, I would have said, “Nah.” But look at him. He’s winning ballgames for us and I just keep shaking my head. Lyle Overbay was headed for retirement and he, too, has been invaluable. I can’t imagine shedding either of them when their better paid counterparts come back.

Andy Pettitte looked like his old self in tonight’s win against the Royals. I was getting a little worried about him, especially after he admitted he was “lost” on the mound and couldn’t feel his pitches. But he was in command. Robertson seems to have shaken off his rust, which is a relief (literally). And Mo, after a momentary threat, notched another save.

If the Yankees keep winning with this cast of characters, Joe Girardi has to be a lock for Manager of the Year.

 

The "B" Team Is Playing "A" Team Baseball

Photo: Mark Blinch/Reuters

This is just crazy. Fun but crazy. If you told me that Vernon Wells would become indispensable to the Yankees, I would have said, “Nah.” But look at him. He’s winning ballgames for us and I just keep shaking my head. Lyle Overbay was headed for retirement and he, too, has been invaluable. I can’t imagine shedding either of them when their better paid counterparts come back.

Andy Pettitte looked like his old self in tonight’s win against the Royals. I was getting a little worried about him, especially after he admitted he was “lost” on the mound and couldn’t feel his pitches. But he was in command. Robertson seems to have shaken off his rust, which is a relief (literally). And Mo, after a momentary threat, notched another save.

If the Yankees keep winning with this cast of characters, Joe Girardi has to be a lock for Manager of the Year.

 

Multi-tasking

What a weird night of TV watching.

I started out with the game, cheering Vernon Wells for getting the Yanks on the board with that homer. I saw Phelps, our starter and #8 batter (Girardi is really being creative) give the lead back but otherwise pitch shutout baseball against the Rockies. Then I couldn’t resist switching to news updates about the three Cleveland women. My God, what a nightmare. And then, because it was inescapable, I sat through analysis of the Jodi Arias verdict and tried to imagine what possessed all those people in Phoenix to follow the trial for so many months.

Eventually, I made my way back to the game with the score still tied at 2-2 – just in time to see Boesch hustle to first allowing Wells to score the go-ahead run and then Wells fill in at third (more Girardi creativity) and handle his one chance effortlessly. Strange win, but a good win and, of course, another save for Mo.

Robertson did not look ready to be back, judging by his wildness, but Preston Clairborne has now been fabulous in two games. If only he could hit and play third.

 

Not Their Day

The Yankees had a chance to sweep the Blue Jays, but the poor pitching and mediocrity with runners in scoring position kept them from getting it done. Again, Nova wasn’t terrible. He just can’t seem to throw a clean inning, always working in and out of trouble. And Phelps. What happened to him? He was so reliable, but his last two outings have been ugly.

The Jays once again gave the Yankees breaks, walking runs in with the bases loaded, balking and otherwise playing sloppy baseball, but the Yanks couldn’t capitalize. Vernon Wells did do a great job of tormenting his old team though. In addition to his offense, he made a really nice catch in left that stunned Encarnacion and led to a fun double play.

Can’t argue with the series win. I’ll take it gladly.

 

Thanks, Blue Jays

Reliever Aaron Loup got loopy with his throw to third on Ichiro’s bunt and the two-run error was all the Yankees needed to get the win in extras.

But long before that happened, Kuroda pitched a gem. It’s always a shame when a starter doesn’t figure into the decision after such a good performance, but that’s baseball.

After Robertson coughed up the lead, Joba came in and looked like the Joba of 2007. His velocity was right back up there and it was great to see. I wasn’t wild about Girardi pulling him for Logan, especially when he left Logan in for a head-scratching lefty-righty matchup, but it all worked out.

Wells gave his old fans in Toronto more to boo about with his continued strong offense. Youkilis left the game with “back tightness.” Swell.

Weren’t the Blue Jays supposed to win 162 games this year?

The Bash Boys!

Photo: Jim McIsaac/Newsday
NYPost
Photo: Elsa/Getty Images North America

I didn’t watch any of tonight’s win over Toronto – I was glued to the manhunt in Watertown – but it sounds like the combination of power and pitching did the job.

Pettitte was his reliable self, and the bats did the rest. I have to tip my cap to Cashman for putting together a team of castoffs who have turned out to be more than a little motivated to show what they can do.

 

 

The Pronx Bombers?

Photo: Getty Images

The Bronx Is Vernon?

Those were John Sterling’s calls, apparently, not mine. I was watching on ESPN. In any case, the Yankees got their first homers of the season from these two.

It wasn’t enough.

Not only did the rest of the team fail to look alive at the plate, but chalk up yet another injury, this time to Kuroda. Very relieved that the x-rays of his finger were negative, but I’m guessing he’ll miss a start (it’s cold, he’s old, the Yankees will be cautious). I do wish pitchers could refrain from reaching for balls. I know it’s a reflex, but it almost always ends badly.

The only remotely interesting thing about the game was Adam Warren, who mostly excelled in long relief.

Oh, wait. The other remotely interesting thing was their bullpen guy, Andrew Miller.

Photo: Matthew J. Lee/Boston Globe

(As the Globe’s Pete Abraham said, he looks like Tom Hanks in “Castaway” with all the hair.) Why did he plunk Ben Francisco, who was pinch hitting for Ichiro? Was it because Kuroda hit two Sox players while he was nursing a bruised finger and, therefore, erratic? If so, how bizarre. Or was it because of some carry-over from last season? If so, how doubly bizarre since Miller had never faced Francisco. Maybe it was just the cold weather that got to Miller. But I sure wouldn’t want to see that big guy with the big fastball coming at me.

Notice how I didn’t say a word about Eduardo Scissorhands’ error? It really was a tough chance, so I’m giving him a pass this time.

Another Head Scratcher

AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Darren Calabrese

I’d laugh too if I were Vernon Wells. Even though the Angels are paying a nice chunk of the $42 million left on his contract, the Yankees were suckered into picking up $13 million for two years. Not a huge sum, but for what? A guy whose best days are behind him? I’m sure he still has a good arm, but is he really an offensive upgrade over Ben Francisco or a kid like Melky Mesa? And what’ll the Yankees do with him after Granderson comes back? DH him instead of the even weaker hitting Hafner?

Even more upsetting was the report today that Mo’s been having headaches. I was relieved to read that the tests came back negative, but migraines? Poor baby. I want him healthy for his farewell season.

The good news was that Youkilis had two homers today against the Rays. (Yes, he made an error, but I’m trying to look on the bright side.) Nunez, our new shortstop for the foreseeable future, had a nice day at the plate too. (As I said, I’m trying to stay positive, even about him.) And I’ve grown very attached to Ronnier Mustelier (aka Musty) and hope he sticks around.

 

And You Thought We Had Problems

Just to name a few. (That last pic is of Pedro Feliciano, btw. Since we’ve never seen him pitch as a Yankee, it might be hard to tell.)

Somehow, our problems seem minor next to those of other clubs. At the moment anyway. While we were being rained out against the O’s tonight, here’s what else happened:

  1. Josh Hamilton broke his arm and will be out 6-8 weeks.
  2. The Red Sox lost again and are now 2-9.
  3. Vernon Wells has been given a “mental day” by the Angels – a euphemism for “benched.”

Doesn’t it seem as if this season is getting off to a rocky start? Well, unless you’re the Cleveland Indians, who have been doing an excellent impression of a really good team.

So let’s be grateful for what’s gone right so far with the Yankees:

  1. A.J. has been Good A.J.
  2. Russell Martin is everybody’s new fan fave.
  3. CC has pitched well enough to be 3-0.
  4. A-Rod has his stroke back.
  5. D-Rob has his Ks back.
  6. Mo hasn’t lost a step.

Let’s go Yankees.

What, Exactly, Is A "Performance Bonus?"

Along with the news that Manny Ramirez and Johnny Damon are reuniting to join the Rays comes word that Damon will be paid a $750,000 performance bonus. I’m not even going to attempt to make a bad joke about performance.

(Okay, I just did. Sorry about that.) Anyhow, I’m wondering how the Rays will determine whether or not Johnny earns his $750,000 in 2011. Will the bonus be based on the number of tickets sold throughout the course of the season or the number of bodies that actually show up at the Trop? If so, how would they attribute the totals to Damon, as opposed to any other player? Or maybe it has to do with how many Damon jerseys they move? How many bobble head dolls? I don’t mean to be deliberately obtuse. I just don’t get it. Can someone explain?

As for the Angels’ acquisition of Vernon Wells, I’m glad he’s out of the AL East. He may be a streaky player for whom Anaheim overpaid, but he always seemed to do damage against the Yankees and I’m not sorry to see him go west.

Meanwhile, we head into another weekend without answers for our rotation. I remain mystified by this. Yes, Yankee fans are spoiled, used to having our pick of the best guys available, blah blah blah. So what. We’ve long moved past the years when Andy Hawkins and Dave LaPoint were our aces. We deserve better. Right, Hal? Look at me. I’m talking to you.

(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

Follow Me!

  • Jane Heller on Goodreads
  • Jane Heller on Pinterest
  • Jane Heller on Facebook
  • Jane Heller on Twitter

Get in touch!

I’d love to hear from you! Contact me!

About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.