Jane Heller

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author

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I Did Say The Trop Was Haunted

July 19, 2011

It was right there in last night’s post. I was writing about the lightning strike, remember? Tonight’s evidence? How else to explain that strange seventh inning?

Colon had been coasting along (welcome back, Bart) when he was pulled for Boone. Suddenly, the craziness started – from the ball Granderson lost in the CATwalk to Boone’s error off his glove to Grandy’s error. And that, basically, was that. No late inning heroics. No comeback. No nothing.

I hated losing that game, I really did, especially since the Red Sox lost.

Plus, we have two new injuries to talk about. Meat Tray is on the DL with a shoulder problem and Nova did something to his leg while he was on the mound for Scranton. So much for our depth.

I’ll say it again: we need pitching.

But I’ll end with a positive: Nunez didn’t make an error. Almost, but not quite.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Bartolo Colon, Boone Logan, Curtis Granderson, Ivan Nova, Rays, Red Sox, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

Hughes, Masterson And Strudel

July 6, 2011

(courtesy: sheknows.com)

That’s what I call Asdrubal Cabrera. He’s Strudel to me, what can I say? He fielded some amazing plays in tonight’s loss to Cleveland and he hurt the Yanks.

But Masterson hurt more. He made even our best hitters look foolish. Well, except Jeter, who is almost guaranteed to reach his milestone against the Rays this weekend – maybe even as soon as tomorrow night.

Hughes. Sigh. I know I’m supposed to be excited by his outing. He did settle down after giving up those two runs in the first and he did have improved velocity and strength and he certainly showed promise after his long layoff. But he also hit a couple of batters and couldn’t get any swings and misses and threw the ball right down the middle more often than not. Why do I have the sinking feeling that he’s still not the pitcher he was touted to be? I hope I’m wrong, I really do.

Our bullpen didn’t exactly inspire confidence either. We might have staged a comeback if not for MEAT TRAY. Why did Cashman re-sign this guy? What’s next? The return of Luis Vizcaino? Oh, wait. He’s serving a 50-game suspension for using ‘roids. Maybe Chris Britton is available. (Sarcasm is unbecoming, I know. I can’t help myself.)

So we lost the series. And tomorrow I have to go to L.A. for a meeting and will be on my way home, sitting in traffic on the 101 freeway, when the action starts at 4 pm here. I’ll record the game so I’ll have it in case Jeter does his thing, but while I’m in the car I’ll have this.

(courtesy: cnet.com)

Michael’s driving, so I won’t crash into anybody while I watch. Is the MLB At Bat app one of the best inventions ever or what?

Oh. I guess I should be paying attention to the Clemens trial that’s just getting underway. They’re doing jury selection. If The Rocket’s lucky, maybe he’ll get the Casey Anthony crew.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Asdrubal Cabrera, Casey Anthony, Cleveland Indians, Derek Jeter, iPhone, Justin Masterson, MLB At Bat app, Phil Hughes, Rays, Roger Clemens, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

Nunie Gets The Silent Treatment

July 2, 2011

It was very funny the way the Yankees shunned Nunez in the dugout after his homer today, then jumped on him to congratulate him. I hate to keep talking about him, but he’s been absolutely amazing offensively. He told Ken Rosenthal after the game that he’s fine with going back to his utility man role when Jeter takes over, but he’s certainly making sure he gets noticed in the meantime.

Actually, this post should be about Colon. I honestly didn’t expect him to pick right back up where he left off, but he did. He was fabulous. He threw strikes, got ahead in counts, kept the Mets off balance, lasted six innings in his first assignment after the layoff. Wow. Just wow.

At this point, the Yankees have to make a decision about Hughes. I say forget the nonsense about a six-man rotation. Why screw up the rhythm of the other pitchers, who like to pitch on regular rest, just to make room for one guy? Alternate Nova and Hughes. Nova will have an innings limit and Hughes needs to come back gradually, so it makes perfect sense (to me anyway).

The one sour note today was Meat Tray. As someone said on Twitter, he belongs in the deli not on the mound.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Bartolo Colon, Derek Jeter, Eduardo Nunez, Ivan Nova, Mets, Phil Hughes, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

He’s Baaack

June 29, 2011

Photo: Al Bello/Getty Images North America

In last night’s post I was only repeating what I thought was a rumor. But, alas, Meat Tray has returned. Why? I guess because he’s better than Buddy Carlyle. But is he better than Hector Noesi? Better than Brian Gordon? Better than Colon, Garcia or Hughes now that it looks like they’ll all be with us?

Never mind.

The good news is the Yankees won again and our division rivals lost.

AJ was the guy we all hoped he’d be.

Martin remembered how to hit.

Granderson showed why he should be an All-Star.

D-Rob showed why he should be an All-Star.

Mo showed why he’s a god.

Nunez showed why he needs more glove work. (Another error. Oy.)

Posada had a Jeffrey Maier special.

I thought the Brewers were supposed to be good. I bet they’re counting the hours before they can stumble out of town.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Brewers, Jeffrey Maier, Jorge Posada, Russell Martin, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

He's Baaack

June 29, 2011

Photo: Al Bello/Getty Images North America

In last night’s post I was only repeating what I thought was a rumor. But, alas, Meat Tray has returned. Why? I guess because he’s better than Buddy Carlyle. But is he better than Hector Noesi? Better than Brian Gordon? Better than Colon, Garcia or Hughes now that it looks like they’ll all be with us?

Never mind.

The good news is the Yankees won again and our division rivals lost.

AJ was the guy we all hoped he’d be.

Martin remembered how to hit.

Granderson showed why he should be an All-Star.

D-Rob showed why he should be an All-Star.

Mo showed why he’s a god.

Nunez showed why he needs more glove work. (Another error. Oy.)

Posada had a Jeffrey Maier special.

I thought the Brewers were supposed to be good. I bet they’re counting the hours before they can stumble out of town.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Brewers, Jeffrey Maier, Jorge Posada, Russell Martin, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

Maybe The “Brew Crew” Had Too Much Brew

June 28, 2011

Oh, my. What a mess of a game for the Brewers. They may be formidable in the NL Central, but they looked more like the Little Rascals at the Stadium tonight. Greinke’s defense clearly did him no favors, but when you walk a batter and hit another, then give up Swisher’s three-run bomb and your manager has a reliever warming in the second inning, you’re toast.

I’ve said many times how much I love blowouts, so this was a very relaxing evening for me. I just sat back, watched the onslaught and enjoyed dinner without heartburn for a change.

Garcia continues to amaze. He looked shaky at first, but once he was pitching with that big lead he had the Milwaukee hitters swinging away like a bunch of Vlad Guerreros.

And now Colon’s coming back, possibly to pitch in this weekend’s series against the Mets (who had TWO grand slams after not having any in, like, a million years)? I hope he’s really okay and not being rushed.

But here’s what I really hope – that all the talk about bringing Meat Tray back is just that: talk.

Photo: Al Bello/Getty Images North America

The fact that Cliff Lee and the Phillies took care of Josh Beckett and the Sox didn’t exactly ruin my night either.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Bartolo Colon, beer, Brew Crew, Freddy Garcia, Milwaukee Brewers, Nick Swisher, Sergio Mitre, Yankees, Zack Greinke

Maybe The "Brew Crew" Had Too Much Brew

June 28, 2011

Oh, my. What a mess of a game for the Brewers. They may be formidable in the NL Central, but they looked more like the Little Rascals at the Stadium tonight. Greinke’s defense clearly did him no favors, but when you walk a batter and hit another, then give up Swisher’s three-run bomb and your manager has a reliever warming in the second inning, you’re toast.

I’ve said many times how much I love blowouts, so this was a very relaxing evening for me. I just sat back, watched the onslaught and enjoyed dinner without heartburn for a change.

Garcia continues to amaze. He looked shaky at first, but once he was pitching with that big lead he had the Milwaukee hitters swinging away like a bunch of Vlad Guerreros.

And now Colon’s coming back, possibly to pitch in this weekend’s series against the Mets (who had TWO grand slams after not having any in, like, a million years)? I hope he’s really okay and not being rushed.

But here’s what I really hope – that all the talk about bringing Meat Tray back is just that: talk.

Photo: Al Bello/Getty Images North America

The fact that Cliff Lee and the Phillies took care of Josh Beckett and the Sox didn’t exactly ruin my night either.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Bartolo Colon, beer, Brew Crew, Freddy Garcia, Milwaukee Brewers, Nick Swisher, Sergio Mitre, Yankees, Zack Greinke

What’s With All These Oblique Strains?

March 22, 2011

First it was Golson, Mitre and Joba. Now it’s Granderson who’s nursing an oblique strain, and it remains to be seen whether he’ll be OK for Opening Day. Figures, since he’s had such a productive spring.

What is an oblique strain and why has there been such a rash of them on the Yankees?

Take a look at this from betterhealth.com.

You can strain your abdominal muscles from overstretching or overuse. A violent, poorly performed movement of the trunk can strain the abdominal muscles. Other common causes of strains include overstretching or overusing the muscles. Strains of the abdominal muscles are painful and difficult to manage….

So here’s my question. Do we have a good conditioning coach this year? I remember Cashman fired somebody a few years ago after several players developed strains and tears and other things you don’t want to develop. Or is it just a fluke that these guys are jerking their muscles around in ways that are not healthy for them?

In other news, Meat Tray was rotten against the O’s today.

The O’s can hit and, scarily, they’ve got talented young pitchers too. Is there any way the Yankees could transfer out of this division and move to the AL Central?

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Curtis Granderson, Greg Golson, Joba Chamblerain, oblique strain, Orioles, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

What's With All These Oblique Strains?

March 22, 2011

First it was Golson, Mitre and Joba. Now it’s Granderson who’s nursing an oblique strain, and it remains to be seen whether he’ll be OK for Opening Day. Figures, since he’s had such a productive spring.

What is an oblique strain and why has there been such a rash of them on the Yankees?

Take a look at this from betterhealth.com.

You can strain your abdominal muscles from overstretching or overuse. A violent, poorly performed movement of the trunk can strain the abdominal muscles. Other common causes of strains include overstretching or overusing the muscles. Strains of the abdominal muscles are painful and difficult to manage….

So here’s my question. Do we have a good conditioning coach this year? I remember Cashman fired somebody a few years ago after several players developed strains and tears and other things you don’t want to develop. Or is it just a fluke that these guys are jerking their muscles around in ways that are not healthy for them?

In other news, Meat Tray was rotten against the O’s today.

The O’s can hit and, scarily, they’ve got talented young pitchers too. Is there any way the Yankees could transfer out of this division and move to the AL Central?

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Curtis Granderson, Greg Golson, Joba Chamblerain, oblique strain, Orioles, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

Getting Serious

March 19, 2011

I had hopes for the Yankees’ ragtag bunch of candidates for the back end of the rotation. I wasn’t jumping for joy over Colon, Garcia and Mitre but I played the part of the good, loyal fan, didn’t I?

Not anymore. I don’t want Colon or Garcia on the New York Yankees. The idea of Garcia is especially unseemly, given his performance today against the Blue Jays, and Colon is beyond a reclamation project. They’re both used goods and we should have been able to do better. (Mitre seems destined for the bullpen, which is fine, and I’m excited about Nova as our #4.)

Do I sound like a spoiled Yankee fan? Tough. Opening Day is getting closer and it’s clear there will be no help on the way. With A.J. delivering a shaky few innings yesterday and Hughes looking like he’s still figuring things out, I’m….Well, I’m not amused.

On the other hand, I’m far from panicking. In fact, I’m loving the production out of Jeter, A-Rod, Cano and Granderson, in particular. And how about Mo? Amazing, right? We have a great team. We do.

But it’ll be ugly if we send out the likes of Bart and Freddy against the power bats of the AL East. I don’t even want to think about it.

So I’ll concentrate instead on this.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A-Rod, A.J. Burnett, Bartolo Colon, CC Sabathia, Curtis Granderson, Derek Jeter, Freddy Garcia, Phil Hughes, Robinson Cano, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

Read My Lips: No Manny In The Bigs

March 14, 2011

photobucket/RipeMango2009

That’s what Cashman and Girardi said today before and after Banuelos started against the Red Sox.

“He has zero chance of breaking camp with the team.”

“He’s going to Trenton.”

“He needs more seasoning.”

Blah blah blah.

The kid was thrown to the wolves when Meat Tray came down with an injury, and he emerged unscathed except for those walks. He showed a lot of poise, not to mention versatility. Sure, he’s on a pitch count. Of course, he’s young and untested. And yes, the Yankees should protect his golden arm. But to say over and over again that he absolutely, positively, supercalifragilisticexpialidociously won’t make an appearance in the Bronx is rubbish.

I predict we’ll be seeing you sooner rather than later, Manny.

Dave Schofield/Trenton Thunder

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Brian Cashman, Joe Girardi, Manny Banuelos, Red Sox, Sergio Mitre, Trenton Thunder, Yankees

Yes, I Know It’s Only ST But Still.

March 7, 2011

Wouldn’t you rather have A.J. throw another scoreless three innings, no matter when it is? He pitched well against the Phillies today and I’m a lot happier about it than if he hadn’t. The same goes for Meat Tray.

He didn’t give up a run in his three innings against the O’s in the second game tonight. Is he going to insert himself in the conversation for the #4 or #5 starter? No. Not in my humble opinion. He can put up goose eggs from now until the last day of camp, and he’s still not getting the job unless Nova/Garcia/Colon either get injured or have complete and utter meltdowns. But we do need a long man and we really haven’t had a good one since…Ramiro Mendoza. Well, hang on. Aceves was good until he got hurt. But Mendoza was one of the reasons the Yankees won those championships.

I’m sorry that Colin Curtis will be out a while. I haven’t heard the diagnosis of his injury – anybody know? – but I did read that he won’t be back any time soon. Bad luck. Whoever said the trick to spring training is staying healthy had the right idea.

Update: So Greg Golson is hurt too now? Sheesh.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Alfredo Aceves, Colin Curtis, Greg Golson, Ramiro Mendoza, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

Yes, I Know It's Only ST But Still.

March 7, 2011

Wouldn’t you rather have A.J. throw another scoreless three innings, no matter when it is? He pitched well against the Phillies today and I’m a lot happier about it than if he hadn’t. The same goes for Meat Tray.

He didn’t give up a run in his three innings against the O’s in the second game tonight. Is he going to insert himself in the conversation for the #4 or #5 starter? No. Not in my humble opinion. He can put up goose eggs from now until the last day of camp, and he’s still not getting the job unless Nova/Garcia/Colon either get injured or have complete and utter meltdowns. But we do need a long man and we really haven’t had a good one since…Ramiro Mendoza. Well, hang on. Aceves was good until he got hurt. But Mendoza was one of the reasons the Yankees won those championships.

I’m sorry that Colin Curtis will be out a while. I haven’t heard the diagnosis of his injury – anybody know? – but I did read that he won’t be back any time soon. Bad luck. Whoever said the trick to spring training is staying healthy had the right idea.

Update: So Greg Golson is hurt too now? Sheesh.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Alfredo Aceves, Colin Curtis, Greg Golson, Ramiro Mendoza, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

Jeter Could Be A Politician When He Retires

February 20, 2011

You know how politicians manage to say something without saying anything? Or, to put it another way, you know how they say just the right thing even when they’re backed into a corner? Look what Jeter told the media today when asked if he was worried about the Yankees’ starting rotation:

“I wouldn’t say worried is the right word. We just need other guys to step up. I think a lot of times when you have young guys coming up, all they need is an opportunity. Right now it looks like there’s going to be some opportunities. I wouldn’t say worried or concerned is the right way to put it, I’d say I’m more interested to see what’s going to happen.”

I mean that’s brilliant. He’s not worried or concerned; he’s interested. Right.

Well, maybe he’s being honest, and he’s a big fan of Ivan Nova and Sergio Mitre. Who knows. I guess that’s where he and I differ. I am worried and concerned. Not as much as I was a few weeks ago though. Once I saw the Yankees show up in Tampa in their spanking new unis and big silly grins, I knew everything would be okay. Somehow. There’s just a confidence that comes with being a Yankee fan. Our rotation is shaky but we have such a great team otherwise. It’s easy to forget that over the long winter.

Speaking of which, there was snow and hail in my neck of the woods last night, plus a tornado and two earthquakes. Seriously. I’m wondering what’s on tap for tomorrow.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Derek Jeter, earthquake, hail, Ivan Nova, pitching, Santa Barbara, Sergio Mitre, snow, Tampa, tornado, Yankees

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About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.

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