Jane Heller

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author

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The Yankees Won – Whew

July 24, 2012

I haven’t written that headline in a few days. Still, the big news was about Ichiro, the newest Yankee.

Photo: US Newswire

I admit I’ve never been a fan of his. His accomplishments have been Hall-of-Fame amazing, no doubt about that, but I always viewed him through the prism of his odd mannerisms and tics, his hits and stolen bases and assists meaningful only to his personal biography, his cool relationship with some of his teammates and other Japanese players like Matsui a signal that he was a selfish player. So when the Yankees signed him yesterday, I was less than enthusiastic. Baffled, in fact. Did we really need yet another aging outfielder whose best years were in the past? Ichiro has been a shadow of his former self whenever we’ve played the Mariners – an easy out instead of the guy we could never get out. A has-been.

But a change of scenery has proven to be a tonic for Raul Ibanez and, to a lesser extent, Andruw Jones, and the Yanks didn’t give away the farm in the trade with the Mariners. So, as long as Ichiro understands his new role and his place as a member of a championship-caliber team as opposed to its star (and his comments suggest he does understand and is more than willing to help), I’ll try to get used to seeing him tugging on the sleeve with the pinstripes on it.

As for the game, it was such a treat to wake up and see the results. Kuroda dominated the hapless Mariners, and the hits came in the clutch for a change. Nice to see A-Rod having a good road trip. Tex too.

More wins, please.

 

 

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Hiroki Kuroda, Ichiro Suzuki, Mariners, Yankees

Andy's Semi-Successful Return

May 12, 2012

ny1.com

I don’t know what I was expecting. Well, that’s not true. What I expected was the rousing reception Pettitte got and some rust from his not having pitched in the majors for over a year. Both were the case. I also worried that he would be wild. While he did give up walks, he threw plenty of strikes. It was just those damn home run balls that did him in. So I’d rate his performance as good, considering his absence from the game, but I’m hoping he can do better – much better.

He certainly didn’t get much offensive help from his teammates. I mean seriously. Kevin Millwood?

Every time the Yanks loaded the bases, they’d blow it – not counting the walks that accounted for the two runs.

Rapada’s acrobatics didn’t help matters.

And then there was Swisher’s bonehead move in the ninth. How does a seasoned player, even one with an overly enthusiastic attitude, allow himself to get thrown out at third in that situation? I cringed.

I wasn’t happy with Tex either until I heard that he’s still having trouble breathing and can’t stop coughing, despite the prednisone. Why he waited so long to see a doctor is beyond me, but I’m not his mother or his wife so I’ll shut up about it. Should Joe drop him in the order? The skipper said he won’t. I don’t see why not – just until he starts hitting.

To sum up, we won the series against the Mariners and that’s what counts. And we have Andy back – a proven winner who should only improve with more time on the mound.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Andy Pettitte, Clay Rapada, Kevin Millwood, Mariners, Mark Teixeira, Nick Swisher, Yankees

Andy’s Semi-Successful Return

May 12, 2012

ny1.com

I don’t know what I was expecting. Well, that’s not true. What I expected was the rousing reception Pettitte got and some rust from his not having pitched in the majors for over a year. Both were the case. I also worried that he would be wild. While he did give up walks, he threw plenty of strikes. It was just those damn home run balls that did him in. So I’d rate his performance as good, considering his absence from the game, but I’m hoping he can do better – much better.

He certainly didn’t get much offensive help from his teammates. I mean seriously. Kevin Millwood?

Every time the Yanks loaded the bases, they’d blow it – not counting the walks that accounted for the two runs.

Rapada’s acrobatics didn’t help matters.

And then there was Swisher’s bonehead move in the ninth. How does a seasoned player, even one with an overly enthusiastic attitude, allow himself to get thrown out at third in that situation? I cringed.

I wasn’t happy with Tex either until I heard that he’s still having trouble breathing and can’t stop coughing, despite the prednisone. Why he waited so long to see a doctor is beyond me, but I’m not his mother or his wife so I’ll shut up about it. Should Joe drop him in the order? The skipper said he won’t. I don’t see why not – just until he starts hitting.

To sum up, we won the series against the Mariners and that’s what counts. And we have Andy back – a proven winner who should only improve with more time on the mound.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Andy Pettitte, Clay Rapada, Kevin Millwood, Mariners, Mark Teixeira, Nick Swisher, Yankees

So Much For The King

May 11, 2012

If you’d told me that Kuroda would outduel Hernandez, I might have raised an eyebrow. But it happened. After what seemed like an endless 1-1 tie, the Yankees broke through and dethroned the King, thanks to Ibanez’s latest blast, speaking of surprises. I was down on Raul’s signing in the beginning of the season, but he’s making me a believer.

Cano is on a total roll now – both at the plate and in the field. It’s like someone waved a magic wand over him and turned him back into the superstar we know he is.

The bullpen was great too, right down the line.

But the star of the night was Kuroda. No, the Mariners aren’t much on offense. And Kuroda does seem to have first inning problems. But he was pitching to major league hitters and he shut them down – the definition of a good outing.

I went out for dinner with Dodger fan friends after the game and was happy to tell them that their former battery mates, Kuroda and Martin, would have made them proud.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Hiroki Kuroda, King Felix Hernandez, Mariners, Raul Ibanez, Robinson Cano, Russell Martin, Yankees

Is "The Babe Curse" Baaack?

April 21, 2012

The reason I asked….Well, you know why I asked. Today’s game had a definite otherworldly quality to it – as if the ghosts of Fenway were stirred up by all the festivities yesterday. I know there have been wild comebacks over the course of The Rivalry – with both teams playing the part of the comebacker – but the onslaught mounted by the Yankees after being down 9-0 was seriously amazing.

Where to begin with this one? At the beginning, I guess.

Sweaty Freddy was horrible. I wanted him gone after the first minute. I wish Pettitte could get ready fast – especially now that Pineda is off the radar for the time being.

Phelps has been great, but even he looked over-matched.

Fortunately, the cast of characters that followed out of the pen were stellar, giving the offense a chance to do some damage.

How much damage? None that I could have predicted. I get that the Sox’s middle and late relievers haven’t been effective (poor Aceves), but how about the power of Swisher and Tex, in particular?

Fifteen unanswered runs. One after another after another. I don’t recall anything like it.

When the crowd booed Valentine as he walked to the mound to make a pitching change, I actually felt sorry for him. As Suzyn Waldman pointed out, “it’s not as if he had Goose Gossage out there.” Maybe they should have been booing their front office. (I wonder how Bobby V’s subtle tip of the cap was perceived.)

I saw a clip of his press conference after the game when he said the team had hit rock bottom. But isn’t it too early in the season to say that? The Sox got off to a slow start last year and they did just fine until the fateful collapse.

Who knows. I’d rather dwell on the euphoria I felt when the Yankees scored all those runs. Pure bliss.

Sounds like they’ll be rained out tomorrow, which would be a shame. I like the momentum they have going.

In other news, interesting about the perfecto by White Sox pitcher Phil Humber. I’d never heard of the guy but I read that he’d been traded a bunch of times and picked up on waivers. Not exactly a perfecto-type pedigree. But then the Mariners have been no-hit three times and if you’re going to throw a no-no they’re the team to be facing, no offense to Jesus Montero. Anyhow, congratulations to him.

 

 

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Bobby Valentine, Freddy Garcia, Mariners, Mark Teixeira, Nick Swisher, perfect game, Phil Humber, Red Sox, White Sox, Yankees

Is “The Babe Curse” Baaack?

April 21, 2012

The reason I asked….Well, you know why I asked. Today’s game had a definite otherworldly quality to it – as if the ghosts of Fenway were stirred up by all the festivities yesterday. I know there have been wild comebacks over the course of The Rivalry – with both teams playing the part of the comebacker – but the onslaught mounted by the Yankees after being down 9-0 was seriously amazing.

Where to begin with this one? At the beginning, I guess.

Sweaty Freddy was horrible. I wanted him gone after the first minute. I wish Pettitte could get ready fast – especially now that Pineda is off the radar for the time being.

Phelps has been great, but even he looked over-matched.

Fortunately, the cast of characters that followed out of the pen were stellar, giving the offense a chance to do some damage.

How much damage? None that I could have predicted. I get that the Sox’s middle and late relievers haven’t been effective (poor Aceves), but how about the power of Swisher and Tex, in particular?

Fifteen unanswered runs. One after another after another. I don’t recall anything like it.

When the crowd booed Valentine as he walked to the mound to make a pitching change, I actually felt sorry for him. As Suzyn Waldman pointed out, “it’s not as if he had Goose Gossage out there.” Maybe they should have been booing their front office. (I wonder how Bobby V’s subtle tip of the cap was perceived.)

I saw a clip of his press conference after the game when he said the team had hit rock bottom. But isn’t it too early in the season to say that? The Sox got off to a slow start last year and they did just fine until the fateful collapse.

Who knows. I’d rather dwell on the euphoria I felt when the Yankees scored all those runs. Pure bliss.

Sounds like they’ll be rained out tomorrow, which would be a shame. I like the momentum they have going.

In other news, interesting about the perfecto by White Sox pitcher Phil Humber. I’d never heard of the guy but I read that he’d been traded a bunch of times and picked up on waivers. Not exactly a perfecto-type pedigree. But then the Mariners have been no-hit three times and if you’re going to throw a no-no they’re the team to be facing, no offense to Jesus Montero. Anyhow, congratulations to him.

 

 

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Bobby Valentine, Freddy Garcia, Mariners, Mark Teixeira, Nick Swisher, perfect game, Phil Humber, Red Sox, White Sox, Yankees

Holy S*%T! John Was Right! (With A P.S.)

January 13, 2012

Friend of the Blog John urged me to have patience that we’d be getting a starting pitcher, and tonight comes breaking news that he was right.

However, there’s good news and bad news regarding this news.

The good news is that we got Mariners superstar-in-waiting Michael Pineda.

He’s not Felix (the Mariners said no) but he’s a highly-touted young righty who filled in for Verlander at last year’s All Star game and is supposed to be a stud. He could solidify our rotation for years to come if he stays healthy.

(We also got a pitching prospect named Jose Campos.)

Now here’s the bad news. We gave up Montero and Noesi.

I figured the organization wasn’t high on Jesus since they’ve tried to include him in trades before. He’s not a great catcher and we’ve got better ones. Plus, the DH slot will be crowded with our veteran players. Still, he was a homegrown kid and I was rooting for him to make it big in the Bronx.

And I thought Noesi had real potential as a starter at some point, so I’m sad to see him go too.

But you can’t have everything as a fan, and overall I’m stoked about this deal.

P.S. No sooner did I post this entry than I heard we also signed Hiroki Kuroda to a one-year deal.

Obviously, Hal opened his wallet a little wider…..

 

 

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Hector Noesi, Hiroki Kuroda, Jesus Montero, Jose Campos, Mariners, Michael Pineda, Yankees

Don’t Ask

September 14, 2011

To those who didn’t stay up for the finale in this series, I have this to say: you’re lucky.

I really didn’t want to lose tonight, especially since the Sox and Rays had lost and there was a huge opportunity to gain more ground, but there you are. We lost. In extras. On a walkoff homer served up by Cory Wade.

It was inevitable. Aside from Swisher’s solo shot, the offense was AWOL and you don’t win ballgames with zero offense.

Nova resembled his buddy AJ at times – there were leadoff walks plus a wild pitch that cost us a run – but he mostly pitched out of trouble and was bailed out by Robertson and Soriano.

Some sparkling defense was in evidence but Eduardo Scissorhands made the same bonehead move he made a few games ago by not covering third on a play. (I said bad things to the TV when it happened.)

Cano was hit on the foot by a pitch and looked truly pained. If he goes down we’ll be in big trouble, so let’s all send healing vibes to him.

And that’s the story from the west coast.

Well, except that A-Rod and his thumb will, apparently, be in the lineup in Toronto on Friday. That made news, as did his supposed breakup with Cameron Diaz. And we were speculating back in February that they were getting engaged.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A-Rod, Cameron Diaz, Cory Wade, Ivan Nova, Mariners, Nick Swisher, Yankees

Don't Ask

September 14, 2011

To those who didn’t stay up for the finale in this series, I have this to say: you’re lucky.

I really didn’t want to lose tonight, especially since the Sox and Rays had lost and there was a huge opportunity to gain more ground, but there you are. We lost. In extras. On a walkoff homer served up by Cory Wade.

It was inevitable. Aside from Swisher’s solo shot, the offense was AWOL and you don’t win ballgames with zero offense.

Nova resembled his buddy AJ at times – there were leadoff walks plus a wild pitch that cost us a run – but he mostly pitched out of trouble and was bailed out by Robertson and Soriano.

Some sparkling defense was in evidence but Eduardo Scissorhands made the same bonehead move he made a few games ago by not covering third on a play. (I said bad things to the TV when it happened.)

Cano was hit on the foot by a pitch and looked truly pained. If he goes down we’ll be in big trouble, so let’s all send healing vibes to him.

And that’s the story from the west coast.

Well, except that A-Rod and his thumb will, apparently, be in the lineup in Toronto on Friday. That made news, as did his supposed breakup with Cameron Diaz. And we were speculating back in February that they were getting engaged.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A-Rod, Cameron Diaz, Cory Wade, Ivan Nova, Mariners, Nick Swisher, Yankees

Mo, We Are Not Worthy!

September 13, 2011

With the Yankees clinging to a 3-2 lead over the Mariners in the bottom of the ninth, in came Mo for save #600. And he got it in grand style. The celebration on the mound was typically low key for a man who personifies low key, but there was no mistaking how proud he was and maybe even relieved. Now it’s onto breaking Hoffman’s record and becoming the saves leader of all time.

Meanwhile, AJ was his usual enigma but with a happy ending this time. He was so shaky at first, his command totally off – from hitting batters and throwing wild pitches to issuing walks and getting into full counts. But he struck out 11 and held the M’s to two runs. Not too shabby.

Soriano was great in the seventh, and D-Rob was maddening but got the job done. (Why must he load the bases before squeaking out of trouble?)

The offense was as expected: weak against a pitcher who was unfamiliar. But three runs proved to be enough for the win. And good thing, since the Red Sox finally won one too.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: #600 save, AJ Burnett, Mariano Rivera, Mariners, Yankees

King Felix Has Been Downgraded To The Earl Of Felix

September 12, 2011

It’s become a cliche – and part of John Sterling’s shtick – but you really can’t predict baseball. Everybody assumed the Yankees would be helpless against Hernandez, but he had an off night and our offense took advantage. What a thing of beauty to see Tex go deep and Cano hit a gapper and Chris Dickerson – yes, Dickerson – smack his first homer as a Yankee and Austin Romine get his first major league hit (and catch a nice game).

And while Hughes continues to frustrate me, he did get out of occasional trouble, maintain the lead, hold the Mariners to one run and last through six innings. That’s progress.

On the “General Hospital” front, I was relieved to see Swisher in the lineup, as well as to read that Cervelli’s MRI was clear despite his concussion. Now it’s all about A-Rod.

Bottom line: We beat a team we needed to beat on a night when the Red Sox were idle and the Rays won again – a great way to kick off this series.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Felix Hernandez, Mariners, Phil Hughes, Yankees

Well, We Knew This Was Coming

July 27, 2011

King Felix. A 17-game losing streak. A determined team. The Mariners were destined to win today’s game. What I didn’t expect was the Yankees’ meltdown.

Hughes was okay, giving up only a couple of runs despite all the hits. It was the bullpen that failed along with the defense. Just a sloppy one for Wade, Logan, Ayala and Noesi. Suddenly, I’m looking forward to Soriano rejoining the party this weekend.

I’m sure the boys are thrilled to have tomorrow off. They looked like they needed a nap.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: King Felix Hernandez, Mariners, Phil Hughes, Yankees

CC Is Beyond Amazing

July 26, 2011

Photo: Chris McGrath/Getty Images

Yes, I know. It was the Mariners. They swing at everything. They can’t score any runs. They just lost their 17th in a row. But still. CC was absolutely dominant with all those strikeouts. Raise your hand if you thought he’d get the perfecto if it hadn’t been for the rain delays.

(courtesy: villagevoice.com)

He was that good. Mother Nature intervened – twice – and he needed D-Rob to bail him out in the eighth, but nothing can take away the brilliance of his performance tonight.

Our modern-day Mantle/Maris combo of Grandy and Tex went deep again. Eric Chavez played the entire game at third and didn’t break in two. And Mo was godly in the ninth.

What more could we ask for?

Tomorrow’s face off between King Felix and Hughes should be an interesting. Felix will be tough, but it’s Hughes who has something to prove. If he falters, the trade rumors will get louder.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: CC Sabathia, David Robertson, Mariano Rivera, Mariners, Phil Hughes, Yankees

A Necessary Beat-Up

July 25, 2011

I almost felt sorry for the Mariners tonight. Losing 16 games in a row can’t be fun. Even Ichiro looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.

Photo: Getty Images

Nothing against Jeter’s triple, but ‘Ro did not play that ball well and I had the feeling he just wanted to say, “Whatever.”

So yes, I almost had sympathy for the Mariners. Almost.

Mostly, I was glad that the Yankees beat a team they needed to beat. And they did it with another impressive performance by Garcia, nice relief work by Logan and Garrison (welcome to the bigs, kid), homers by Tex and Jeter and a barrage of hits from others – including everybody’s favorite player, Nunie. I got my 10 runs and was a happy camper.

It looks like Eric Chavez is back with the team. Can we all clasp hands and form a prayer circle so that he stays healthy for more than an hour?

Photo: AP

And Soriano is due back any minute. I know people are down on him, but it wouldn’t hurt our pen to have someone other than Robertson/Ayala/Logan/Wade. If he pitches effectively, we’ll be in much better shape down the stretch. I just hope there’s no drama with the guy this time around.

(courtesy: dailynews.com)

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Derek Jeter, Eric Chavez, Ichiro Suzuki, Mariners, Mark Teixeira, Yankees

The Yankees Won (Yay) But I Lost (My Mind)

May 29, 2011

I missed the game today.

I could lie and say it was because I had an extremely important social engagement.

I could make up an excuse about not feeling well.

I could pretend I was kidnapped and held captive in a room without a TV.

But I can’t do it. So I’ll tell the truth and admit that the reason I missed the game was because I’m a dumb blonde.

(courtesy: jessgiggles.wordpress.com)

When I saw that the game was on at 4 pm, I thought that meant 4 pm PACIFIC TIME, because, after all, the games out here on the west coast have been later. So I sat around the house all day, waiting for 4 o’clock. About 3:59, I turned on the TV and gasped. They were in the 9th inning and the Yanks were about to win it 7-1!

Oh, well. It sounds like CC was fabulous, not only holding down the Mariners but giving the bullpen a breather.

And good for Swisher getting that homer. Nice day for Andruw Jones too, which probably spells the end for Jorge as a DH against lefties. Apparently, everybody in the starting lineup had a hit. I’m happy, obviously. I’m just sorry I didn’t see the fun, especially after suffering through the last couple of losses.

But enough whining. I now have a few unexpected hours to kill. I think I’ll go browsing on my On Demand cable channel and find a movie or two to watch. Could be worse.

Happy July 4th tomorrow.

Oh, wait. It’s Memorial Day.

(Just kidding. I’m not that bad.)

P.S. I went to see “Surf Dog” at his hot dog stand yesterday, and he gave me an earful about the Yankees. I’ll post the video tomorrow night.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Andruw Jones, CC Sabathia, dumb blonde, Jorge Posada, Mariners, Nick Swisher, Yankees

I'm Keeping My Mouth Shut

May 28, 2011

(courtesy: danceempress.blogspot.com)

My mother always taught me, “If you have nothing nice to say about somebody, don’t say anything at all.”

Tonight I have lots of “nothing nice to say”s going on in my head. It’s almost midnight and I sat there watching the Yankees give up a lead for the second game in a row, not to mention lose in extras on a blown save by Mo, who seems not to be able to retire hitters when the score is tied. I am not in a good mood.

I would love to spend this entire blog post spewing curses. Instead, I will simply write that Nova didn’t last long, that our offense was hot, then cold, then hot, then cold, then very cold, and that despite fine relief performances by Noesi, Robertson, Joba, Logan and Ayala and some great defensive plays, the Mariners won. Again. Pathetic, right?

I hope we can at least salvage the finale.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Ivan Nova, Mariano Rivera, Mariners, Yankees

I’m Keeping My Mouth Shut

May 28, 2011

(courtesy: danceempress.blogspot.com)

My mother always taught me, “If you have nothing nice to say about somebody, don’t say anything at all.”

Tonight I have lots of “nothing nice to say”s going on in my head. It’s almost midnight and I sat there watching the Yankees give up a lead for the second game in a row, not to mention lose in extras on a blown save by Mo, who seems not to be able to retire hitters when the score is tied. I am not in a good mood.

I would love to spend this entire blog post spewing curses. Instead, I will simply write that Nova didn’t last long, that our offense was hot, then cold, then hot, then cold, then very cold, and that despite fine relief performances by Noesi, Robertson, Joba, Logan and Ayala and some great defensive plays, the Mariners won. Again. Pathetic, right?

I hope we can at least salvage the finale.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Ivan Nova, Mariano Rivera, Mariners, Yankees

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About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.

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