Jane Heller

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author

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Spring Training Is Just Around the Corner (Sort of)

January 11, 2016

ballpark_400x225

Ok, so it’s only January 11th. Friend of the blog, Darren, wanted me to write a new post so he wouldn’t have to look at Chapman every time he came here to check. LOL.

I wish I’d been inspired to write something new about the Yankees, but they’ve been remarkably uninspiring this off-season. A minor acquisition here and there, sure, but nothing I’m jumping up and down about.

The only happy Yankee-related news was in the Vows column of The New York Times recently: a story about the wedding of George Steinbrenner’s granddaughter, Haley Swindal. She looked very pretty in her gown.

The Hall of Fame inducted Griffey and Piazza. The HGH scandal involving Peyton Manning tried to implicate Jeter (how dare they). Rumors fly on Twitter about trading Gardner. But that’s about it…..

I can’t wait for some actual news. Meanwhile, Happy New Year to all, belatedly!

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Brett Gardner, George Steinbrenner, Haley Swindal, Yankees

Do We Miss The Big-Bucks Yankees?

March 4, 2013

Illustration by Dan Goldman/nymag.com

I meant to post this article when it ran in New York Magazine last week, but I was reminded of it over the weekend when someone asked, “Aren’t you mad that the Yankees didn’t go after any big free agents over the winter?”

Was I mad? At first. It was out of habit. We always get big name players – at least in the latter part of the George Steinbrenner era.

But as the spring has gone along and I’ve read about Gardner hitting .500+ and kids like Ramirez and Warren pitching well and Cervelli throwing out baserunners and Ichiro not only escaping from car crashes but stealing bases, I’m thinking maybe we’ll be fine after all.

Anyhow, here’s the article. Does anyone want to weigh in?

Yankee Fans Chafe Against Tightened Belt

by Will Leitch

The New York Yankees, for the first time in decades, have a branding problem. The team is known for many things: Winning. Pinstripes. Derek Jeter. A facial-hair ban. Ten-dollar beers. None of which are changing. But perhaps the most powerful aspect of the franchise’s identity over the past 25 years is how much it loves to spend money. The Yankees’ profligacy has been woven into the very fabric of rooting for the team: When we lose, fans think, it’s not that bad, because the other side’s best player will end up playing for us someday. Yankees fans don’t mind if the team overpays to make that possible. To a degree unique in sports, they expect it. Which is why this offseason has been so jarring for them.

Determined at last to maintain some fiscal discipline, the team has not been pursuing any marquee free agents and is waving good-bye to catcher Russell Martin and outfielder Nick Swisher. These are, to be clear, objectively smart moves. The Yankees payroll for this year is around $206 million, exceeding the $189 million limit imposed by Major League Baseball and subjecting the team to the league’s escalating luxury tax; if the Yankees break the payroll cap four years in a row, they’ll face a luxury tax of 50 percent, a hit that could work out to $50 million or more. But as soon as a team gets back under the limit, the tax resets. The Yankees have been maneuvering to do just that in 2014—when nearly $120 million is due to come off their books—in order to be able to go after really big fish like Bryce Harper and Giancarlo Stanton when they become available later this decade. It’s smart management and the way baseball works now. You save today so you can pay later.

But most Yankees fans don’t want to hear about strategies for gaming the luxury tax. They want to win now. That is to say: Yankees fans are all little George Steinbrenners. And fittingly, the team’s flirtation with austerity looks like it’s going to be undone by an actual little Steinbrenner. Last week, word leaked that the Yankees may end their longtime practice of not negotiating early with pending free agents and are instead planning to try to lock up second baseman Robinson Cano, whose contract expires next year, rather than let him hit the open market. The edict reportedly came directly from Hal Steinbrenner himself. Since taking over from his father, he has mostly allowed the baseball men to make the major personnel decisions. But not this time, according to ESPN’s Wallace Matthews. “This is the first time since George died that it appears a Steinbrenner is actually running the Yankees,” a source told him. Steinbrenner was said to be “freaked out” by the perception that the Yankees were no longer big spenders; season-ticket renewals, reportedly sagging, may have reflected some supporters’ distaste for the shift.

Now, the emergence of Hal Steinbrenner as a new George is a beat reporter’s Shakespearean fever dream; it’s unlikely that he’ll go as far as his father was willing to. Even throwing a little money around this season, though, could derail the front office’s plan; signing Cano to a massive contract that exposes the Yankees to the luxury tax indefinitely is not the best long-term play. But we may be learning that the Yankees are too powerful a brand to be run in a frugal, efficient, shrewd fashion. They are too big to be cheap.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: George Steinbrenner, Hal Steinbrenner, New York magazine, Will Leitch, Yankees

I Love Bill Maher, But…

June 4, 2012

As everybody knows by now, Maher, whom I happen to watch every Friday night and whose “New Rules” make me laugh, bought a minority stake in the Mets. I didn’t even know he liked baseball. But now I get it. He’s a Mets fan and, therefore, a Yankees hater, which provoked his quote today in Huffington Post that “Steinbrenner and Trump should be buried together.” Oh, Bill. How could you?

Here’s the article.

The New York Mets organization isn’t exactly known for its exquisite taste in financial partners. This is a franchise, after all, that recently settled a lawsuit stemming from its association with Bernard L. Madoff for $162 million. So it was amusing when Michelle Malkin and other right-wing commentators reacted to the news that comedian Bill Maher had purchased a minority stake in the team with the kind of moral indignation they normally reserve for things like taxes, or efforts to remove the Ten Commandments from suburban courtrooms.

Naturally, nobody found the spectacle more amusing than the new owner himself, who has been known to ridicule the right on his HBO political-comedy series, “Real Time With Bill Maher.” “You know they saw this yesterday and went, ‘Bill Maher? Owns part of a baseball team? AAAARGGHH!'” Maher told The Huffington Post. “And then they had to figure out why they were mad. Because it’s not immediately apparent why this should be horrible, but they knew it was horrible and then they had to work back to finding a reason why it was horrible. And of course, I just love to fuck with their heads.”

As part of its plan to pay down debts in the wake of the Madoff disaster, the Mets recently announced that they had raised $240 million by selling 12 four-percent shares in the team. Several of those shares were sold to principal owner Fred Wilpon’s company, Sterling Equity, and to SNY, the network that broadcasts the team’s games. (Sterling owns 70 percent of SNY.) Until the Maher announcement, only three other individual investors had been identified: hedge-fund legend Steve Cohen, who reportedly bought a full $20 million stake, and Clear Channel C.E.O. Bob Pittman and Huffington Post co-founder Kenneth Lerer, who went in together on another.

The day after the announcement, Maher spoke to The Huffington Post about his new responsibilities (or lack thereof), his hopes for the team and his distaste for the Steinbrenner/Trump style of doing business.

Michael Hogan: This is exciting news for Mets fans and comedy fans. I’m just curious, what powers do you actually have now as an owner of the Mets?

Bill Maher: Oh, I decide who is the relief pitcher. [Laughs.] No, nothing. You know, I’m a minority owner. We just enjoy the ballgame. The great national pastime.

Can you at least call the Wilpons during a bad game and give them a piece of your mind?

No, I don’t think even they do it. I mean, good owners stay out of the way. One of the main reasons that I’m a big Mets fan and not a big Yankees fan is because I hated George Steinbrenner. To me, George Steinbrenner did not represent New York well. I know people love him because he was a winner. Well, to me, growing up as a kid, I was taught that winning is important but it’s not everything. That was George Steinbrenner’s world — winning is everything — and that’s not the way I think America and New York should be represented. I love New York, but I do think that Steinbrenner and Trump should be buried together.

When these ownership stakes were announced, a lot of people shied away from them. Why did you see opportunity where other people saw danger?

You know, it’s so funny you ask that, because that’s the first thing I asked. How come these didn’t sell in a day? There are lots of people in New York way richer than I am. And you know what the answer is? Everybody told me the same thing, because I asked around. They said, “Every day, if you live in New York, all you read about in the papers is the press shitting on the Mets.” You know, they were going through that Madoff lawsuit, and they had traded their best player. The press was just merciless to them. And it scared everybody off. And I kept just saying, “You know what? This is the New York Mets. There’s only one National League franchise in the city of New York. It’s not going anywhere. And it’s a national treasure.” And I didn’t do it for sentimental reasons. I can’t afford to do things for sentimental reasons. I do love the Mets, and have rooted for them ever since they came into existence, which was shortly after I came into existence, but I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think it was a good investment. And you know, after the Dodgers sold for over $2 billion, everybody who told me not to do it called and told me what a great idea it was.

Now, did the Mets tell you how much of your money is going to pay Bobby Bonilla?

[Laughs.] Bobby Bonilla. And Mo Vaughn! Oh, yes, there were a few bad deals. But that’s any team. You know, I’ll tell you, I spent a long time on the field yesterday and I met the players and I hung out before the game where they’re just clowning around in the locker room, and you could just tell that there’s a good vibe on this team. First of all, they’re playing loose because they were picked to be last. Everybody said they would be horrendous this year. And management said, “Well, you know what? We might surprise you. We think we’re a lot better.” And that should buy them a little credibility, because they are a lot better. I mean, they just won three from the World Champs and allowed one run in three games.

And had the first no-hitter in their history, which I saw that you took credit for.

I took total credit for that. As soon as I got to the East Coast and bought a piece of this team, they got a no-hitter. Hadn’t happened in 50 years, so you do the math.

A lot of people thought this was going to be a rebuilding year for the Mets. Do you think there’s a chance that they’re going to make some moves and try to make the World Series after all?

Well, I think it would be fantastic. I think their biggest problem so far, although they were good last night, is the bullpen. It looks like they could use a little help in the bullpen. But you know, a baseball team or any sports team, these athletes are at such an elite level. I had never stood next to the batting cage. I mean, when you stand right next to them and watch them hit the ball — oh, my God, these guys just murder the ball. I mean, they just bomb these things out of the park. You can’t believe how good they are, and so what I’m trying to get to is the fact that, yeah, their physical talent is all off the chart. It’s a mental thing. It’s a lot about team chemistry, and how much they want it, and how much they play together, and I think that’s why they’re surprising a lot of people. Because I think this Mets team has that. So I mean, yeah, why not go for it this year?

So you think maybe they will try to build up the bullpen?

I think so. They have a very crafty general manager, Sandy Alderson, who’s been around forever. And he’s like in the role of Brad Pitt now, in that movie.

What’s your favorite first baseman’s accessory for the Mets: Keith Hernandez’s mustache or John Olerud’s helmet?

Gee, you really do know the Mets. Wow. Actually, I got [former Mets first baseman] Ed Kranepool’s autograph. He said, “Would you like me to sign your cap?” I said, “Sure.” I didn’t really want him to, but O.K. As he’s signing, he said, “What do you do for a living?” I said, “I’m a comedian.”

O.K., my last question for you. Any chance you can change the slogan of the team to “You Gotta Disbelieve”?

Oh, come on. Why would I do that? No. You know, one of the great things about this is that I finally found something I can be apolitical about. And I’ll just say this. Being part of owning a Major League Baseball team is amazing. Participating in the national pastime is fantastic. But making Fox News nuts over it — priceless.

I’m not paying much attention to the MLB draft tonight, so let me know if the Yankees sign somebody good.

 

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Bill Maher, George Steinbrenner, Huffington Post, Mets, Yankees

Now That Pettitte Mania Has Subsided…

March 18, 2012

I guess it’s appropriate to wonder what Andy’s return will mean for the rest of the starters – IF he shows he can still pitch after the long absence.

Kuroda has already been penciled in as the #2 starter, and both he and Hughes had their best outings of the spring this past week. Nova hasn’t pitched well yet but he’s earned a job with his past performances. Pineda is still somewhat of an unknown quantity, but the Yankees didn’t trade for him to keep him in the minors. If anyone’s on the bubble, it would probably be Garcia.

Or not.

Would the Yankees send Hughes to the pen? Not unless he gets into that familiar rut where he nibbles and takes forever to get hitters out and racks up high pitch counts by the third inning. He didn’t come to camp in better shape so he could be banished to the pen, I’m sure.

Very confusing situation. But here’s what I hope doesn’t happen: a six-man rotation.

It would be insane to take guys out of their normal routines – especially CC – just to accommodate Pettitte.

And then there’s the upcoming Clemens trial; Andy will have to leave the team to testify. So for the foreseeable future, the issue won’t have to be resolved and everybody can hang on to their current jobs.

Speaking of the Clemens trial, does anybody care at this point? It feels like it should have happened already. I hate that Andy will get dragged into the he said/he said nonsense.

But it could be worse. We could be Mets fans having to watch their owners on trial. I’m old enough to remember when Steinbrenner was kicked out of baseball for being a bad boy, but the Wilpons’ mess is truly gruesome.

 

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Andy Pettitte, Bernie Madoff, Fred Wilpon, George Steinbrenner, Mets, Roger Clemens, Yankees

Costas + Crystal = Great TV Tonight

November 14, 2011

I absolutely LOVED Bob Costas’ interview with Billy Crystal on the MLB Network. (Yes, I know Costas also interviewed Sandusky about the Penn State mess on NBC, but I’m not going there.) What a fun show. Between the clips of the movie “61” and Crystal’s stories about Mantle, Jeter and Yogi, there was also little seen footage of Johnny Carson on the mound at Yankee Stadium and Crystal doing a dead-on impersonation of Phil Rizzuto in the broadcast booth.

And then there was this “SNL” skit.

I cracked up every time Crystal called Steinbrenner Jorge.

I hope the interview gets replayed so everybody can watch it. It really put a smile on my face, and, given the news lately, that was much appreciated.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: Billy Crystal, Bob Costas, George Steinbrenner, Mickey Mantle, MLB Network, Yogi Berra

Perhaps I Hallucinated Tonight’s Loss?

May 16, 2011

I was sitting there watching the game by myself, musing about how well A.J. was pitching, thinking how wonderful it was that the Yankees were scoring actual runs, delighting in the power of Curtis Granderson, speculating that the team enjoys playing in the warmer confines of Tropicana Field, when suddenly…

Well, you know what happened: A.J. had a complete and utter meltdown. Just like the bad old days.

What you don’t know is that minutes before his dreadful inning, I glanced out my living room window and saw a half-dozen vultures flying overhead. Yes, vultures. Turkey buzzards. Big disgusting birds that prey on the dead.

I’m not kidding. I live way up in the hills where we do have a lot of wildlife; the birds could certainly have spotted a squirrel or rabbit and decided to dine on my lawn. But here’s what I think: they were watching the Yankees too and I was starring in some sort of horror movie.

(courtesy: bbc.co.uk)

I tweeted my fears to my Yankee tweeps. They responded that I wasn’t hallucinating and that vultures or no vultures the boys did find a new way to lose.

If only we could have scored after the Grandy homer. If only Girardi had pulled A.J. sooner. If only we had a healthy bullpen. If only A-Rod would stop striking out. If only, if only.

Can you imagine if George were alive? Someone would get fired or, at the very least, threats would be made. Hank piped up, but it was pretty tame stuff.

As I said last night, the ugliness will stop eventually. There’s just no telling how long it will last. I wouldn’t mind if Nunez would stop making throwing errors in the meantime.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A-Rod, A.J. Burnett, Curtis Granderson, George Steinbrenner, Joe Girardi, Rays, The Birds, Tippi Hedren, Tropicana Field, vultures, Yankees

Perhaps I Hallucinated Tonight's Loss?

May 16, 2011

I was sitting there watching the game by myself, musing about how well A.J. was pitching, thinking how wonderful it was that the Yankees were scoring actual runs, delighting in the power of Curtis Granderson, speculating that the team enjoys playing in the warmer confines of Tropicana Field, when suddenly…

Well, you know what happened: A.J. had a complete and utter meltdown. Just like the bad old days.

What you don’t know is that minutes before his dreadful inning, I glanced out my living room window and saw a half-dozen vultures flying overhead. Yes, vultures. Turkey buzzards. Big disgusting birds that prey on the dead.

I’m not kidding. I live way up in the hills where we do have a lot of wildlife; the birds could certainly have spotted a squirrel or rabbit and decided to dine on my lawn. But here’s what I think: they were watching the Yankees too and I was starring in some sort of horror movie.

(courtesy: bbc.co.uk)

I tweeted my fears to my Yankee tweeps. They responded that I wasn’t hallucinating and that vultures or no vultures the boys did find a new way to lose.

If only we could have scored after the Grandy homer. If only Girardi had pulled A.J. sooner. If only we had a healthy bullpen. If only A-Rod would stop striking out. If only, if only.

Can you imagine if George were alive? Someone would get fired or, at the very least, threats would be made. Hank piped up, but it was pretty tame stuff.

As I said last night, the ugliness will stop eventually. There’s just no telling how long it will last. I wouldn’t mind if Nunez would stop making throwing errors in the meantime.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A-Rod, A.J. Burnett, Curtis Granderson, George Steinbrenner, Joe Girardi, Rays, The Birds, Tippi Hedren, Tropicana Field, vultures, Yankees

Hip Hip Jorge!

February 26, 2011

No, not that one. This one.

Photo: Nick Laham/Getty Images/bleacherreport.com)

If you watched the game today – how cool was it to see the Yanks in action for the first time in months? – you saw the monster shot hit by Jorge Vazquez, a minor league infielder signed out of the Mexican League. He also had a single, btw. Is he the guy who could spell A-Rod at third if Eric Chavez doesn’t make the team? Probably not. And one spring training game doesn’t tell us much. But I liked his plate presence all the same.

Let’s back up and talk about the pre-game ceremony to honor The Boss. I loved how Tino, Gator, Gossage, Girardi and Jeter took turns reading from the plaque. Very classy. And a nice moment with Steinbrenner’s wife and daughters. (Apparently, Hal was there but where was Hank? Out having a smoke?) Hailey Swindall continues to do a good job in the singing department (Christina Aguilera should take a page out of her playbook).

Colon? Eh. Not horrible. Not great. A couple of innings of so-so.

Joba? I liked it. Three up, three down. No futzing around. And, if the radar gun was accurate, he was at 93-94. And what was all that business about his weight? He looked just about the same as last year except for the longer hair. Talk about much ado about nothing.

Cervelli was impressive and made a statement that he was not interested in getting in line behind Montero or Romine. Good for him.

I didn’t love when Tex got hit on the foot by a Hamels pitch, but he seemed fine. Way too early in the season for an injury.

I couldn’t see any difference in Jeter’s stride, could you?

A-Rod was swinging the bat well.

Anyhow, it was just fun watching our guys shake off the rust. Baseball is back. Yay.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A-Rod, Bartolo Colon, Cole Hamels, Derek Jeter, Francisco Cervelli, George Steinbrenner, Joba Chamberlain, Jorge Vazquez, Mark Teixeira, Yankees

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About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.

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