Jane Heller

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author

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2014 Oscars: ZZZZZZZZZ

March 3, 2014

Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images
Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images

I like Ellen DeGeneres. I do. She has a nice, innocuous presence on television and when her deadpan jokes work, they really work. I thought her opening routine last night was funny-ish, safe, not offensive – the opposite of last year’s debacle. But then a host’s job really begins, as Billy Crystal explains in his book. It’s a loooong evening and the show inevitably sags in the middle during all the technical awards, so a host needs to jump in during the breaks in the action and respond to whatever’s going on. Sadly, DeGeneres’s reliance on pizza delivery didn’t cut it. Not even a little bit amusing. The selfie with all those A-listers was cute, but enough with all the stuff about Twitter. I mean, don’t the movies matter? Isn’t that why everybody was there? To celebrate Hollywood, not social media?

(Oh, I must digress to say that my Oscar dinner was delicious. I’m still drooling over the short ribs and mashed potatoes.)

Back to the show….Well, first the dresses. Absolutely gorgeous were Cate Blanchett, Charlize Theron, Lupita Nyong’o, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Adams and Naomi Watts. Pure goddesses. On my not-so-gorgeous list were Anna Kendrick (too much going on), Angelina Jolie (she can never look bad, but the dress was too matronly), Anne Hathaway (didn’t love all those thingies on top), Jennifer Garner (her dress looked like a chandelier) and Julia Roberts (too lacy-dowdy). Loved Bette Midler’s singing live. Didn’t love poor Kim Novak, Liza Minnelli and Goldie Hawn, whose plastic surgery fails made me wince. Very sad to see how frail Sidney Portier has become. I missed George Clooney. I missed Jack Nicholson. I missed Warren Beatty, Jane Fonda, etc. Old Hollywood, in other words.

As for the awards themselves, I had most of them checked off on my Oscar ballot so I was pleased with the results. I was surprised that “American Hustle” was totally shut out, but once “Gravity” started winning all those tech awards, I knew it had the momentum for director Alfonso Cuaron. And I also knew that “12 Years a Slave” would take the top prizes. Just meant to be and deservedly so. Matthew McConaughey, Jared Leto and Cate Blanchett were locks for their awards, but I loved all their acceptance speeches too, although Cate needs to learn the meaning of the word “exacerbate.”

Lots of good movies last year should have made for a livelier show, but I can’t wait to see what rolls into theaters in 2014.

 

Filed Under: Mainly Jane, Movies, Television Tagged With: Academy Awards 2014, beef short ribs, Cate Blanchett, Ellen DeGeneres, Jared Leto, mashed potatoes, Matthew McConaughey, Oscars 2014

Such A Deal: "Infernal Affairs" Is About To Be 99 Cents!

September 16, 2013

final.Infernal affairs

For the past few months we’ve been doing special promotions on the ebook editions of my novels, and this week the ebook getting the spotlight is my third novel, Infernal Affairs.

Starting tomorrow, September 17th, and continuing through September 24th, the price for Infernal Affairs will drop from $4.99 to 99 cents. The idea is not only to make the ebook even more affordable than it’s been but also to reach readers who may be new to my novels and want to give this one a try without too big an investment. And what author doesn’t love watching her books jump to the top of the rankings on Amazon and BNN? It’s fun!

So is Infernal Affairs, if I do say so myself. Actually, I’m not the only one who said it. People magazine called it “smart-mouthed fun.” And Kirkus Reviews called it “campy, over the top, down-and-dirty and a whole lot of fun.” Others liked the humor. Booklist: “fiendishly funny”….Library Journal: “very funny.”

What’s the story about? A Florida real estate agent who’s down on her luck. She can’t sell a house. She’s gained weight. And her husband’s just dumped her for the local TV weatherperson. She goes outside during a thunderstorm one night after too much wine and rails at the heavens to help her – only to find that it’s the Devil that’s been listening. Yup, she’s made an unwitting pact with the dark side and now she has to figure out how to get out of the deal. Her unlikely ally is the guy she’s despised since high school. They’re aided by an adorable Labrador retriever, but that’s enough about the plot. The point is there’s romance, suspense and some very wacky goings on.

Ellen DeGeneres and Disney optioned the novel back when it was in manuscript, but the movie never got made, sadly. It was re-optioned a few years later for a TV movie but that, too, didn’t go anywhere. I still think it would be a very commercial comedy, so maybe someday…..

Meanwhile, it’s only 99 cents, people! Go download it!

 

Filed Under: Humor, Mainly Jane, Movie deals Tagged With: comedy, Disney, Ellen DeGeneres, Infernal Affairs, novels, romance, supernatural

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About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.

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