Jane Heller

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author

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Life After Baseball…Or So I Thought

October 7, 2011

Since Michael and I didn’t get to go out to celebrate our anniversary the other night, opting instead to watch Yankees-Tigers, we decided to stop grieving the Yankees’ ouster from the playoffs and have a romantic dinner at one of our favorite local restaurants.

We were seated at a lovely table, ordered some wine and tried to forget about baseball while we perused the menu. About five minutes in, I overheard the following conversation from the next table.

Man: “That damn Rodriguez. They should send him to Siberia and never let him wear the pinstripes again.”

Woman: “And he can take CC with him. What a disaster.”

Man: “And Teixeira. Talk about garbage.”

Woman: “The whole team’s garbage. They score 10 runs one night and can’t do squat the next. What a joke.”

I put down my menu and flared my nostrils. Michael gave me a look that said, “Don’t start anything.” I shrugged and said, “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.”

My husband rolled his eyes, sat back and watched helplessly as I leaned over and said to the couple at the next table, “Excuse me. Are you referring to the Yankees?”

Man: “Yeah. We’re Yankee fans.”

Me (Laughing snidely): “Fans? You call yourself fans?”

Woman: “We were talking about the game last night. Did you see it?”

Me: “Of course I saw it. But unlike you, I don’t think my team is garbage because they lost.”

Man: “Oh, come on. They were pathetic.”

Me: “No, they lost. It happens. A true fan would get that.”

Man (starting to rise from his chair): “And just who do you think you are?”

Me: “Just a fan – the kind that doesn’t go around disparaging the Yankees. Have a nice evening.”

I turned my back to them and focused on my husband. We had a delicious dinner, complete with a chocolate molten lava cake with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce for dessert. As we were leaving the restaurant, the mean couple hissed at me. I gave them a big smile, knowing full well that my face looked like the grownup equivalent of this.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: ALDS 2011, Tigers, Yankees

ALDS Game 1: The Ivan Nova Show

October 1, 2011

Photo: Corey Sipkin/Daily News

Wow. What a performance. When Nova came out of the game, the crowd at the Stadium gave him a huge ovation. So did I. I got up off the couch and stood there applauding in my living room.

The Tigers helped, swinging at pitches in the dirt, but that was part of Nova’s magic: his ball moved all over the place. The Yankees’ defense also contributed. I’m still marveling at Jeter’s relay to Martin at the plate, for example; it was sheer perfection.

Of course, tonight’s win could also be called The Robbie Cano Show.

Photo: Bill Kostroun/AP

Six RBIs. Seriously. Do you think he likes batting third? Actually, he probably doesn’t care where he is in the lineup, but I love him in that spot. I would expect the Tigers to start pitching around him, given that A-Rod isn’t 100%, but we’ll see.

Overall, the Yankees just played great baseball tonight. No complaints. Well, except one. Okay, two. There was Posada’s base running mishap. Sigh. And there was this guy.

Photo: Getty Images

I realize Ayala pitched well over the course of the season but lately? Not so much. When he came in for the ninth and couldn’t get the job done, I had flashbacks to the other night at the Trop. What a shame to have to bring Mo into the game in that situation, but our savior took care of business with cool efficiency.

So. We won the first one. Whew. It feels fantastic, doesn’t it? I’m doing a happy dance right now.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: ALDS 2011, Derek Jeter, Ivan Nova, Jorge Posada, Luis Ayala, Robinson Cano, Tigers, Yankees

Mother Nature Burst Our Bubble

September 30, 2011

Talk about disappointing.

So let me get this straight. With the score at 1-1, the skies opened even though there was supposed to be a “window” during which the teams could play in light drizzle.

Some window. Who’s forecasting the weather these days? Kim Karshashian?

I can’t believe we lost CC’s start. Yes, I know the Tigers lost Verlander too, but still. Aside from that one mistake to Delmon Young, our ace looked ace-like and Verlander looked vulnerable.

Nova is supposed to go tomorrow night when Game 1 will resume, but will it resume? The forecast is crappy for Saturday night too. Why not move the first pitch up to the afternoon? So what if there’s another game scheduled. Move one of them from TBS to its sister station TNT.

And then there’s Sunday’s Game 2, which erases the travel day. Girardi says he’s starting Sweaty Freddy. He wouldn’t commit to using CC on Monday either. I actually saw the words “A.J. Burnett” uttered in connection with Monday. How is that possible?

Sorry to those who went to the game tonight (Peggy, that means you) and those who have tickets for Saturday night (YankeeCase, that means you).

I’m going to sulk now.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: ALDS 2011, CC Sabathia, Mother Nature, Tigers, Yankees

Why The Yankees Will Beat The Tigers

September 29, 2011

Yes, Verlander is a great pitcher.

Yes, Cabrera is a scarier hitter than Jose Bautista.

Yes, our friend Austin Jackson was the kid we hated to give up.

And yes, they have position players like Martinez and Polanco and some setup guy that’s supposed to be as good as D-Rob, plus a closer that dances around the mound after a save.

Photo: Paul Sancya/AP

Doesn’t Verlander look like Luke Wilson, btw?

OK, maybe not.

Anyhow, yes, the Tigers have a lot of strengths, including manager Jim Leyland, who’s always been a favorite of mine. He’s not just a tough guy. He cries, people.

But the Yankees are, quite simply, the Yankees. Detroit may have beaten us in 2006, but we’re  a different team this year. A better team. There’s no dead wood, nobody who makes me roll my eyes every time I see him. (Well, except for Eduardo Scissorhands, but I know I’m in the minority there.) We’re solid. Not perfect, but no team is. We have a nice combination of veterans and newbies, along with players who are right in their prime. And we have a really good bench for a change.

Most of all, especially for Games 1 and 2, we have these.

Oh, and we have one more reason to win: me. I have no interest in writing a sad blog post about how we lost.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: ALDS 2011, Jim Leyland, Jose Valverde, Justin Verlander, mystique and aura, Tigers, Yankee Stadium, Yankees

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About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.

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