Jane Heller

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author

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If Only A.J. Had Been There….

June 25, 2013

AJ cream.jpg

I would love to have seen him apply the pie to Ichiro in what was, remarkably, the Yankees’ first walk off win of the season. Such fun. With one swing, Ichiro took care of the Rangers and put an end to a pretty cool pitching match-up.

In their pre-game comments, the beat writers were saying that with Darvish on the mound, the Yanks would have to play small ball and scratch out runs any way they could. Frustratingly, the offense couldn’t make that happen at all, not even with bases loaded and one out. But they did hit the long ball and thank God they did. Darvish wasn’t throwing his best stuff, but they managed to hit the ball into the seats and tie the score. Kuroda looked a little peeved to be pulled for Logan at 99 pitches, but it all worked out. And Mo got the win.

The Rangers don’t seem as scary without Hamilton in the lineup, but it was still a very nice “W” for the boys. Has the Z Man come back to earth? He looked it tonight, but I hope he’s not “over.”

Just a word or two about the Cashman-A-Rod kerfuffle. I get that Alex has caused the Yankees more than his share of bad PR, but Cashman didn’t need to F-bomb his tweet today. It didn’t seem to me that there was insubordination or an attempt to overstep. It was a player’s excitement at being cleared by his doctor to get back to baseball and his team. So what. Cashman should save his cursing for something that warrants it.

 

 

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A-Rod, A.J. Burnett, Brian Cashman, Ichiro Suzuki, Rangers, Yankees, Yu Darvish

Poor A.J.’s Eye

March 1, 2012

I never thought I’d have to use this photo for AJ as a Pittsburgh Pirate. Sigh.

When I read about his accident yesterday, I felt sorry for him. There he was at the Pirates’ training camp, having said how happy he was to be back in the National League so he could bat again, when he bunts a ball right smack into his eye. And now comes word he’s having surgery. Another sigh.

Burnett to undergo surgery for orbital fracture
The Associated Press

PITTSBURGH, Pa. – Pirates pitcher A.J. Burnett will undergo surgery on Friday to repair a fractured right orbital bone.

The right-hander injured himself on Wednesday at the team’s spring training facilities in Bradenton, Fla. after a bunt attempt caromed off his face. He flew to Pittsburgh late Wednesday to be further evaluated.

There is no immediate timetable for Burnett’s return.

Not an auspicious start for him.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, eye surgery, Pirates

Poor A.J.'s Eye

March 1, 2012

I never thought I’d have to use this photo for AJ as a Pittsburgh Pirate. Sigh.

When I read about his accident yesterday, I felt sorry for him. There he was at the Pirates’ training camp, having said how happy he was to be back in the National League so he could bat again, when he bunts a ball right smack into his eye. And now comes word he’s having surgery. Another sigh.

Burnett to undergo surgery for orbital fracture
The Associated Press

PITTSBURGH, Pa. – Pirates pitcher A.J. Burnett will undergo surgery on Friday to repair a fractured right orbital bone.

The right-hander injured himself on Wednesday at the team’s spring training facilities in Bradenton, Fla. after a bunt attempt caromed off his face. He flew to Pittsburgh late Wednesday to be further evaluated.

There is no immediate timetable for Burnett’s return.

Not an auspicious start for him.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, eye surgery, Pirates

So Long, A.J.

February 17, 2012

Well, he’s a Pirate. Not officially – there’s a physical scheduled for Sunday, I believe – but A. J. won’t be in the Yankees rotation anymore. I wish we’d gotten more out of the deal than a couple of low-level prospects, but whatever.

Now that he’s gone, I’m kind of sad. Who will be the new pie guy? I’d give the job to Swisher, but it really needs to go to a pitcher. Maybe Joba?

By all accounts, the players enjoyed having A.J. has a teammate (Nova, especially), and he did pitch a few spectacular games. I also have a fond memory of his participation in HOPE Week when he stayed up all night to hang out with the kids who can’t be out in the sun/daylight. And I wouldn’t be shocked if he throws a no-hitter as a Pirate; he does have the stuff.

The pressure in the Bronx now falls on the shoulders of Phil Hughes, in my opinion. Will he finally take his spot as the Prospect-Who-Made-Good? I sure hope so.

 

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Ivan Nova, Phil Hughes, Pirates, Yankees

Random Thoughts

February 16, 2012

* Sad news today about Gary Carter. From everything I’ve read he sounded like a terrific guy with a loving family. He sure was a great catcher.

* The A.J. Trade Watch continues. If his wife had gotten over her fear of flying, A.J. would have been on the Angels by now and we would have had Bobby “I’m Afraid of the Wall” Abreu back. Oh, well. Maybe by the time I wake up here in California tomorrow, the deal with the Pirates will have been done.

* The story about Bobby Valentine and his grumbling Red Sox players made me laugh.

Boston Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine said Wednesday that his spring training regimen he laid out has so far been met with some grumbling from players who aren’t used to his more demanding style.

“When I look at the program we devised, I don’t think of it as tough. But it seems it’s different because a lot of people are frowning. I just asked them to give (it) a few days,” Valentine said, according to The Boston Globe.

* Only a few more days until P&C, people.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Angels, Bobby Abreu, Bobby Valentine, Gary Carter, Red Sox, Yankees

Other Suitors For AJ?

February 14, 2012

According to the YES web site, that’s the case.

As discussions heat up between the Pittsburgh Pirates and New York Yankees about A.J. Burnett, reports have surfaced that there are apparently at least two other teams interested in his services.
FOXSports.com senior writer Ken Rosenthal Tweeted this morning that according to his sources, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are interested in Burnett, but that scenario would be highly unlikely; A.J. has a limited no-trade clause that can block deals to 10 teams – one of which is the Angels – and he prefers to stay east.

Later, CBSSports.com’s Jon Heyman tweeted that the Cleveland Indians have also checked in, with the Indians potentially willing to send designated hitter Travis Hafner and his $13 million salary to New York for Burnett.

Despite the swirling rumors, the Pirates are still optimistic they can get a deal done for Burnett, who makes his off-season home in northern Maryland.

Why the Angels would want him I can’t guess. They already got C.J. Wilson and have other arms in their rotation. And they rarely do business with the Yankees.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Angels, Indians, Yankees

A Premature But Nevertheless Entertaining Farewell To A.J.

February 13, 2012

It’s very possible that a trade with the Pirates will be announced in time to celebrate Valentine’s Day, so Wally Matthews of ESPNNY was ready with a fond goodbye.

A six-pack to savor: The Best of A.J. Burnett
February, 13, 2012

By Wallace Matthews
In anticipation of the imminent end of the A.J. Burnett Error, ESPNNewyork.com humbly offers “A.J.’s Greatest Hits,” the highlights — or is it lowlights — of the three-year Yankees tenure of Allan James Burnett.

1. The Shiner

Every bit as mysterious as the Jack Nicholson/Stanley Kubrick film of a similar title, Burnett showed up with a black eye — the right eye, by the way (as an ex-boxing writer, I tend to notice these things) — before a start at Camden Yards in September of 2010, the source of which has never been revealed. All we were told is that it was not “baseball-related,” meaning none of his teammates took a poke at him, and a call to the local police stations in Baltimore revealed no evidence of an off-field incident involving the Yankees’ right-hander. I even asked Joe Girardi if he had popped Burnett. No,” said the manager, who was not laughing.

2. I have two words for you, Joe Girardi

“What keptcha?”

No, that’s not really what Burnett said when the manager came to collect him in the second inning of a miserable outing in Minneapolis. In fact, you didn’t have to be a lip-reader to know what Burnett threw back at his manager on the way off the mound, although everyone involved denied it afterward and Girardi even had an on-air meltdown when questioned about it by the YES Network’s Jack Curry. Whatever was said, and to whom, was serious enough to warrant Girardi charging down to the clubhouse and demanding that Burnett repeat it, according to Burnett, but the two claimed to be lovey-dovey after the game.

3. Clubhouse doors, beware

After Burnett pitched a shaky but certainly not terrible second inning against the Rays at Yankee Stadium on July 17, 2010, he was abruptly removed from the game after facing two batters in the third. The Yankees offered no explanation for the sudden pitching change until after the game, when Girardi, rather awkwardly, said, “A.J. got a little frustrated, and, er, hurt himself.” Turns out Burnett, after allowing a two-run HR to Reid Brignac in the second, had stormed into the clubhouse and slammed his hands into the doors leading to the back area, slicing the palms of both hands on the Plexiglas frames used to display the lineup cards. Burnett then made it worse, lying to Girardi that he had tripped on the stairs and landed on his hands. The result: the frames were gone by the next time Burnett started and the lineup cards are now taped to the doors.

4. Soupy Who?

In 2009, Burnett endeared himself to Yankee Stadium fans by treating teammates who won games with walkoff hits with a cream pie in the kisser — really nothing more than a blob of shaving cream in a towel — a continuation of a routine he had started while a Toronto Blue Jay. Since the Yankees had 15 walk-off wins in the regular season and two more in the post-season, Burnett threw more pies than Soupy Sales, the old TV comedian for whom pie-throwing was a form of comic aggression. In fact, Sales died during the 2009 season, an event I informed Burnett of in front of his locker. “That sucks,” Burnett said, with real concern on his face. “Who’s he?”

5. ABJ — Anybody but Jorge

No, there was never any problem between Burnett and Jorge Posada. The two got along fine –except on days Burnett was pitching and Posada was catching. And even though both vehemently denied what was clear to anyone paying attention –that Burnett didn’t like throwing to Posada and Posada didn’t like catching him — of the 15 post-season games the Yankees played on the way to the 2009 World Championship, Posada caught 10 of them, light-hitting Jose Molina the other five. The five pitched by Burnett. And as soon as Burnett left the game, so did Molina, for Posada as a pinch-hitter. In 2010, it was a similar arrangement, with Francisco Cervelli assuming the Molina role. Last year, there was no Posada behind the plate for A.J. to kick around, and in fairness, he seemed to find a rapport with Russell Martin.

6. It wasn’t all bad. Really

There was, of course, Game 2 of the 2009 World Series against the Philadelphia Phillies, both a blessing and a curse for Yankees fans. The blessing was that Burnett pitched seven strong innings, striking out nine, in the Yankees 3-1 win, the victory that evened the Series after Cliff Lee had stifled the Yankees in Game 1. The curse was that this was the game Girardi kept pointing to as his reason for keeping Burnett in the rotation, even when it was approaching two years in the rear-view mirror.

As Matthews notes, it wasn’t all bad, and that was the frustrating part of A.J. Burnett. He was always capable of throwing a no-hitter and he won some big games for the Yanks. But watching him pitch was like watching a trapeze artist fly without a net; you just never knew when he’d lose it and plunge.

 

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Pirates, Yankees

Cashman’s Next Reign

November 1, 2011

Courtesy: bronxbaseballdaily.com

Not that there was any doubt that Cash would sign a new contract, but it’s nice to have stability in the front office. It just is.

I read the highlights from his conference call with the media and it was all pretty standard stuff, although two things did stand out for me.

“I don’t anticipate a bat being a need at all,” he said.

Whaaaat?

Sure, the Yankees have a loaded lineup. But that loaded lineup not only went cold in the postseason, it’s got guys like Tex and Swisher who are streaky, plus A-Rod will be coming off an injury-riddled, sub-par season. And there won’t be Posada. Are we relying on Montero as DH? Don’t we need a bench if Chavez and Jones aren’t back? Contrary to what our GM said, I would like a bat. Or two.

“I would not look at A.J. as a reliever,” he said. “If he’s with us, without a doubt he’s in the rotation.”

Whaaaat?

If he’s with us? Was Cashman implying that AJ might be traded? Sort of a weird comment.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A-Rod, A.J. Burnett, Brian Cashman, Yankees

Cashman's Next Reign

November 1, 2011

Courtesy: bronxbaseballdaily.com

Not that there was any doubt that Cash would sign a new contract, but it’s nice to have stability in the front office. It just is.

I read the highlights from his conference call with the media and it was all pretty standard stuff, although two things did stand out for me.

“I don’t anticipate a bat being a need at all,” he said.

Whaaaat?

Sure, the Yankees have a loaded lineup. But that loaded lineup not only went cold in the postseason, it’s got guys like Tex and Swisher who are streaky, plus A-Rod will be coming off an injury-riddled, sub-par season. And there won’t be Posada. Are we relying on Montero as DH? Don’t we need a bench if Chavez and Jones aren’t back? Contrary to what our GM said, I would like a bat. Or two.

“I would not look at A.J. as a reliever,” he said. “If he’s with us, without a doubt he’s in the rotation.”

Whaaaat?

If he’s with us? Was Cashman implying that AJ might be traded? Sort of a weird comment.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A-Rod, A.J. Burnett, Brian Cashman, Yankees

AJ Finally Gets An August Win

August 15, 2011

I know. He looks like he’s saying, “I won a game? Seriously?” And if he were my husband, I’d make him do something about the hair. But whatever. He got the “W” – thanks, in part, to Girardi for pulling him before he could blow the lead yet again.

He gave up a lot of ground balls, many of them hits, and he had his usual bad inning. The good news is that the bad inning wasn’t that bad (if you don’t count walking in a run). I guess that’s progress.

Nice pickoff by Boone Logan and another by the tag team of Martin and Cano. Excellent offensive display by the Captain. And Posada continues to show signs of life.

I like it a whole lot better when we take a series opener than when we don’t.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Boone Logan, Robinson Cano, Royals, Russell Martin, Yankees

Walks and Errors and Lightning, Oh My

July 18, 2011

What a weird win, but I loved it. Well, I loved everything except A.J.’s wildness (six walks and a throwing error – ugh). If I read tomorrow that he smashed his hand into a glass door after the game, I won’t be surprised. He looked kind of snarly in the dugout.

Anyhow, it was a nice comeback for the Yanks. For most of the game, the offense was half dead against yet another pitcher they’d never faced. But then came the Rays’ exhausted bullpen, plus a kid they’d called up from the minors, and the Yankees pounced. It didn’t hurt that Noesi had a huge strikeout with bases loaded, that D-Rob was a strikeout machine and that Mo did his usual save thing. Good job, boys.

I wasn’t sure the game would be finished, given the delay because of the lightning-induced power outage at the Trop. Not only did that bank of lights go out, but so did my YES feed. Doesn’t it seem as if something spooky always happens there? It’s like that dome is haunted or something.

I know I said this in last night’s post, but how hot is Brett Gardner right now? And, conversely, how cold is Mark Teixeira? This cold?

For the uninitiated, the above is a box of It’s-It ice cream sandwiches and I had one (a sandwich, not the whole box) during the game. It’s-It is a San Francisco-based ice cream producer and there’s nothing – I mean nothing – like their ice cream. The original ice cream sandwich has vanilla surrounded by a chocolate shell with an oatmeal cookie on the top and bottom. It’s to die for.

Sorry. Back to business. With game 1 of this series in the books, we turn to Colon tomorrow night. I say if he falters again, a trade is imperative – as in Make It Happen, Cashman.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Brett Gardner, Dave Robertson, Hector Noesi, It's-It ice cream sandwiches, Mariano Rivera, Mark Teixeira, Rays, Yankees

Austin Kearns? Really?

July 4, 2011

Photo: Rob Tringali/Getty Images North America

Shelley Duncan? Really?

Why is it that ex-Yankees – mediocre ex-Yankees – always beat us? I know, I know. They probably try harder. Still, doesn’t it seem as if Melky, Betemit and other castoffs are the ones who do damage?

In tonight’s loss, it was Shelley who got the Indians’ offense started and Kearnsy who finished us off. Such a shame too. A.J. pitched superbly for 100+ pitches, but was clearly struggling in the 7th after being victimized by a pop-up that neither A-Rod nor Gardner could catch. I expected Girardi to lift him, not learning until later that Ayala and Mo were both ailing (was that why he blew the save yesterday?) and our pen was short of arms. Cory Wade got the nod and didn’t do much with it.

At least we weren’t no-hit by Josh Tomlin. I mean seriously. That would have been unpleasant, especially on the occasion of Jeter’s return from the DL. Has our offense disappeared again? Or was Tomlin that good?

I hope everyone had a Happy July 4th, in spite of what turned out to be a bummer of a game. I did – thanks to a steak barbecue and one of my favorite summer treats.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Austin Kearns, corn--on-the-cob, Cory Wade, Indians, Josh Tomlin, Shelley Duncan, Yankees

He’s Baaack

June 29, 2011

Photo: Al Bello/Getty Images North America

In last night’s post I was only repeating what I thought was a rumor. But, alas, Meat Tray has returned. Why? I guess because he’s better than Buddy Carlyle. But is he better than Hector Noesi? Better than Brian Gordon? Better than Colon, Garcia or Hughes now that it looks like they’ll all be with us?

Never mind.

The good news is the Yankees won again and our division rivals lost.

AJ was the guy we all hoped he’d be.

Martin remembered how to hit.

Granderson showed why he should be an All-Star.

D-Rob showed why he should be an All-Star.

Mo showed why he’s a god.

Nunez showed why he needs more glove work. (Another error. Oy.)

Posada had a Jeffrey Maier special.

I thought the Brewers were supposed to be good. I bet they’re counting the hours before they can stumble out of town.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Brewers, Jeffrey Maier, Jorge Posada, Russell Martin, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

He's Baaack

June 29, 2011

Photo: Al Bello/Getty Images North America

In last night’s post I was only repeating what I thought was a rumor. But, alas, Meat Tray has returned. Why? I guess because he’s better than Buddy Carlyle. But is he better than Hector Noesi? Better than Brian Gordon? Better than Colon, Garcia or Hughes now that it looks like they’ll all be with us?

Never mind.

The good news is the Yankees won again and our division rivals lost.

AJ was the guy we all hoped he’d be.

Martin remembered how to hit.

Granderson showed why he should be an All-Star.

D-Rob showed why he should be an All-Star.

Mo showed why he’s a god.

Nunez showed why he needs more glove work. (Another error. Oy.)

Posada had a Jeffrey Maier special.

I thought the Brewers were supposed to be good. I bet they’re counting the hours before they can stumble out of town.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Brewers, Jeffrey Maier, Jorge Posada, Russell Martin, Sergio Mitre, Yankees

Losing Game 1

June 24, 2011

I don’t have any stats on this – I’m sure someone must – but haven’t the Yankees dropped series openers a lot this year? It certainly feels that way. It’s as if they have to get comfortable with a new team before they do any damage.

Of course I probably jinxed us with last night’s post about Giambi hitting a homer. Groan.

On second thought, it wasn’t my fault. It was AJ’s.

Photo: Andrew Theodorakis/Daily News

You can almost hear him muttering, “I coulda stayed in the game, but now I might have to punch some glass doors.”

He’s such a puzzle. On one hand, he became the first pitcher in Yankees history to strike out four batters in one inning. He also walked five batters in two innings. How can one guy have such a split personality?

He had help with tonight’s loss. Our offense was in sleep mode for the most part.

Not much to say except that there was a little good news: the Red Sox lost to the lowly Pirates. That made me smile.


Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Jason Giambi, Pirates, Red Sox, Rockies, Yankees

“What A Crazy, Crazy Game” *

June 18, 2011

* A direct quote by this man.

Photo: Kostroun/AP/Daily News

I was listening to Sterling’s post-game wrap-up and he must have repeated a zillion times what a crazy game it was today at Wrigley. I watched the first few innings – shockingly, FOX granted me access instead of showing me a contest between two west coast teams I don’t care about – but I had to go out and, therefore, relied on my MLB AT BAT app on my iPhone for the rest.

I have to agree: it was a nutty game.

Nunez is such a perplexing player. He’s terrific offensively – I mean seriously good in a way that almost makes me forget about Jeter being out of the lineup – but his defense is so bad it’s contagious (I’m blaming Cano’s error on Nunie). He can hit, run the bases, even bunt. But every time he handles the ball at short I wince.

And while I’m on the subject of running the bases, have the Yankees collectively turned into Posada? Take A-Rod. What was he doing trying to stretch that single into a double? Bizarre.

Amazing throw by Gardner to get Pena at the plate. I just hope Martin’s back is okay after the collision. Pena went into him hard, and all credit to Russell to hang onto the ball, never mind his marbles.

A.J. pitched really well, except for his high pitch count, and our newbies in the pen (Wade and Noesi) were sensational. Mo, on the other hand, had a couple of lapses, but he did get the save so all was well.

I guess the takeaway from this game, other than the fact that the Yankees managed to win it, was the number of men stranded on base – again. What is up with that?

I feel lucky that we squeaked by.

I feel even luckier that while I was out listening the game I was at my nearby Patagonia store.

The sales people had no problem with me blasting the audio while I was trying on stuff. There was even a Yankee fan or two among them – always a happy occurrence in California.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Brett Gardner, Cubs, Eduardo Nunez, John Sterling, Patagonia store, Robinson Cano, Russell Martin, Wrigley Field, Yankees

"What A Crazy, Crazy Game" *

June 18, 2011

* A direct quote by this man.

Photo: Kostroun/AP/Daily News

I was listening to Sterling’s post-game wrap-up and he must have repeated a zillion times what a crazy game it was today at Wrigley. I watched the first few innings – shockingly, FOX granted me access instead of showing me a contest between two west coast teams I don’t care about – but I had to go out and, therefore, relied on my MLB AT BAT app on my iPhone for the rest.

I have to agree: it was a nutty game.

Nunez is such a perplexing player. He’s terrific offensively – I mean seriously good in a way that almost makes me forget about Jeter being out of the lineup – but his defense is so bad it’s contagious (I’m blaming Cano’s error on Nunie). He can hit, run the bases, even bunt. But every time he handles the ball at short I wince.

And while I’m on the subject of running the bases, have the Yankees collectively turned into Posada? Take A-Rod. What was he doing trying to stretch that single into a double? Bizarre.

Amazing throw by Gardner to get Pena at the plate. I just hope Martin’s back is okay after the collision. Pena went into him hard, and all credit to Russell to hang onto the ball, never mind his marbles.

A.J. pitched really well, except for his high pitch count, and our newbies in the pen (Wade and Noesi) were sensational. Mo, on the other hand, had a couple of lapses, but he did get the save so all was well.

I guess the takeaway from this game, other than the fact that the Yankees managed to win it, was the number of men stranded on base – again. What is up with that?

I feel lucky that we squeaked by.

I feel even luckier that while I was out listening the game I was at my nearby Patagonia store.

The sales people had no problem with me blasting the audio while I was trying on stuff. There was even a Yankee fan or two among them – always a happy occurrence in California.

Filed Under: Confessions of a She-Fan Tagged With: A.J. Burnett, Brett Gardner, Cubs, Eduardo Nunez, John Sterling, Patagonia store, Robinson Cano, Russell Martin, Wrigley Field, Yankees

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About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.

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