Hey, everyone!
Remember when I used to write “Dear Readers” letters on my home page? Well, now I can stay more current – and interactive – by posting regularly on this new blog and responding to your comments. (Also on the site now is my long-running “Confessions of a She-Fan” blog, which I moved over from Major League Baseball’s blogging site and which, I’m pleased to report, has been the #1 fan blog there.)
Here at “Mainly Jane” I’ll be providing updates about my books and news of Hollywood-related deals, explaining why I loved Nora Ephron’s latest collection of essays but didn’t think Ricky Gervais was amusing at the Golden Globes, talking about whatever seems relevant at the moment. I’ll also be sharing my running dialogues with my husband Michael, who seems to trigger lots of ideas for my books and screenplays. (Don’t worry. He’s a good sport. He’s used to being “material.”)
Let me me get things started by officially announcing the new book I’m working on. No, it’s not a romantic comedy. (Sorry to those who’ve been waiting for me to go back to writing fiction. I have a novel in the computer, I promise, but it’s waiting its turn.) The nonfiction book is called (drum roll, please):
You’d Better Not Die Or I’ll Kill You:
A Caregiver’s Survival Guide to Keeping YOU in Good Health and Good Spirits
As Publishers Lunch reported it in their announcement today, it’s a “companion for caregivers, told in a mix of humorous vignettes and essential info, drawing on personal experience and outside expertise.”
Which is another way of saying it’s not going to be a depressing book about illness; there are plenty of them out there already. And it’s not going to be a dense reference full of resources; caregivers don’t have time for themselves, let alone for a heavy tome. If the perennial bestseller What To Expect When You’re Expecting is a pregnant woman’s best friend, I’d say You’d Better Not Die Or I’ll Kill You will be a caregiver’s best friend. There are an estimated 65 million caregivers in America right now, whether caring for a parent, a child, a spouse or a close friend. My hope is to reach out to every one of them with the book. Chronicle is the publisher and I anticipate that they’ll schedule release sometime in 2012. They do such great things with graphics and design, so I’m very excited to join their stable of authors.
And my editor is Leigh Haber, who acquired Confessions of a She-Fan for Rodale back in ’07. She’s one of the smartest people I know, so she’ll undoubtedly help to make the book the best it can be.
Where does the title come from? Michael. He has Crohn’s disease, a chronic, auto-immune disease of the gastrointestinal tract that causes intestinal obstructions, severe abdominal pain, and other not-so-lovely symptoms. He’s been hospitalized nearly 100 times since he was diagnosed as a child – 5 times in the past year alone – and had many surgeries. Each time he’s on a gurney, about to be wheeled into the operating room, I lean over to kiss him and say, “You’d better not die or I’ll kill you,” and he’ll laugh and make us both feel better.
The book is intended to make other caregivers feel better too – physically and emotionally. It will include my funny stories about life with a chronically ill husband (yes, there are funny moments and it’s important that we celebrate them), as well as advice from experts in a variety of fields on a variety of subjects – from how caregivers can get a decent night’s sleep to how we can make a doctor answer our questions even when he/she has one foot out the door. I’ll also feature anecdotes and inspirational words from other caregivers, so if you have a story to tell or know someone else who does, please leave a comment here or contact me via the “Contact” page on the web site or the links to me on Twitter or Facebook.
Over the years I’ve had so much mail from readers who’ve said: “Your novels have gotten me through a tough time.” And: “In spite of my medical condition your stories made me laugh.” And, best of all, I once got a letter from a psychotherapist who wrote: “I prescribe your books to all my depressed patients. They’re better than Prozac.” I really hope You’d Better Not Die Or I’ll Kill You will have the same prescriptive effect.
P.S. Before I finish up with my inaugural “Mainly Jane” post, I need to give a huge shout out to Kristen, webmaster, web designer, web guru, and (most of all) friend. You may have noticed that the web site’s home page has been refreshed and enhanced with graphics and links and all the stuff I could never in a million years figure out how to do. (All that in addition to creating the two new blogs.) I met Kristen when I was living in Florida writing novels and she was in New York handling the Soap Opera Digest web site. Now she and I are both in California and, although she has a full time job in the web world, she continues to make time for me and this site – and for that I’m eternally grateful.
Yes, she’s a Red Sox fan and, yes, I’m a Yankee fan, but we co-exist like civil Democrats and Republicans, which is to say we rarely discuss baseball.
Love the new layout Jane!
The new book sounds very interesting, I can’t wait to read it. Hopefully by 2012 I’ll be done with the stack of books I recently bought & am failing at finishing.. [Since school kicked in my time is limited]
Anyways, congrats on getting the website running *pops champagne* hopefully I moved fast enough to be your first commenter. LOL :)
-Antonella
I love your new website . I’m sure I could get you some funny comments for your new book . The subject is a very current one and I think it should do very well . Michael looks so handsome in that sweater ! I’m so proud of my very smart , sharp witty and very talented sister . You really inspire me . As always I will be reading your blog every day . I’ll be looking forward to all your comments about life especially about the Yankees !
Thanks for being my first comment here, Antonella! And yes, let’s pop some champagne. You bringing it? I’ll take care of the hors d’oeuvres. LOL.
It’s my sister!!!!! On her almost birthday too. I’m counting on you to read every day, Sue, but now you’ll have TWO blogs to read. I don’t know how I got myself into this with a book to write too. I guess I’ll have to skip sleeping. Sigh.
ok i do want another novel of yours to read but this sounds great. having watched my brother and mother go through long illnesses before dying, i know some of the pain and stress and joy and more stress of caregivers. this book sounds wonderful and with your wisdom and wit and humor and warmth and more humor, i know it will be great. good luck with it.
i just found this website and it’s great now that there are two blogs. as for who to play you in a movie–how about minka? she knows something about baseball i assume. i hope all your books really become movies!
I’m sure you’ll be able to relate to the new book, Barbara, after what you’ve been through. There are other books out there on the subject, as the number of caregivers grows, but I really don’t want mine to be depressing or dry. I’m going for humor with a lot of advice from experts in different fields – and from other caregivers. Speaking of which, if you have a story of your own that you think would help others, please let me know and we’ll do an interview. As for which actress to “play me” in a She-Fan movie, keep in mind it’s not ME me. It’s a fictionalized young woman who shares our passion for the Yanks. Minka hasn’t done comedy, so she’s not on my list. Lots of possibilities if we just find a producer who won’t say, “A movie about a female baseball fan? Who’d be interested in that?” If these people only knew. Sigh.
Fascinating new format(s), Jane. New book does sound both fascinating and very valuable; hope that it becomes an instant best-seller, both in and beyond its field. You’ve been very discreet about mentioning Michael’s health issues in the past; I feel apologetic for not having understood them better. I will attempt to add comments that are of some value in the future, when time and intellect permit. Nothing but the best of success is hoped for you and yours…
Ah, I see we’re going to have a pseudonym for every post, Dave? What fun. Glad you made the trip over to the new blogs. I do hope the caregiver book will reach at least many of the 65 million caregivers in this country and maybe even be entertaining and instructive to those not directly affected. I wouldn’t say I’ve been discreet about Michael’s health issues; it’s more an issue of privacy – his. I needed to get his permission to write a book like this!
Hi Jane, your hair looks fab, it is me, Pam, from the Palm Beach hair salon ‘good ole days’. The new website is really nice and I am happy to be included in your list of fans. The first book of yours that I bought and you signed for me is sitting on top of my bookshelf, all others have been passed along to friends. I know I should make them buy their own, right? Lots of luck on the new one, I have also been a caregiver for several friends and my parents , of course. We all need the humor to get us through the highs and lows.
xxxooo, Pam
Hey, Pam! So great to hear from you all the way from Palm Beach. Glad you like my hair. LOL. I remember when you asked me to sign that first book you bought and I’m honored to know it’s still on top of your bookshelf. Since you’ve been a caregiver, let me know if you have funny/inspiring/helpful anecdotes you’d like to share and I’ll include them in the book. Best to you.
Hi Jane,
This is my first comment on your new site, which I like a lot. Your book sounds very interesting and I’m sure it’s not easy injecting humor in a book about care givers. I was a care giver for my late wife for several years before her condition required a 24 hour live-in aid. I was also a care-giver for many, many weekends for my late son, in Washington D.C. I would be pleased to discuss any aspects of the care with you and I leave it to you to supply the levity. I will say that I never lost my sense of humor which has kept me going through lots of tough times. I hope never to lose it.
Harold
Hi, Harold. Welcome to my new home! Glad you like it here. I was thinking of you when I read Barbara’s comment and I appreciate your willingness to discuss your role in the care of your late wife and son. Humor is essential in tough times. The book will cover a serious subject, but I hope that my candor about my experiences – and the stories from others – will provide some much needed relief.
I received “Confessions” in the mail from a GREAT friend today! What a wonderful surprise! I can’t put it down! I moved to New York from Cambridge, Massachusetts, about a million years ago to marry Ron, who wears his Yankee cap every day! (I think that pretty much says it all!) It took about 32 years … but I have become a die hard Yankee fan! Just ask my cats … Mickey, Jeter, Matsui, and Joba.
My mom gave my dad the greatest care while he lived at home with Parkinson’s Disease. When the time came for him to live in a facility, Mom was there every day. His dementia took him away from us before he passed away at age 69. She is now caring for her “significant other” who has Alzheimer’s Disease. The other day, while we were on the phone, I heard her say “What do you want? My jacket?” Then, a few minutes later, “Sol … take off my jacket.” I could only imagine what he looked like wearing her jacket. It’s just so sad. I look forward to your new book. Laughter gets us through the most difficult times …
Pitchers and catchers report in less than 2 weeks. Play ball!
Roberta H.
I’m so thrilled that your friend sent you a copy of “Confessions,” Roberta!!! And I’m even more thrilled that you’re enjoying it. I’m glad you became a Yankee fan too, even if it did take you 32 years. LOL. I love your cats’ names, of course. I also want to thank you for sharing that your mother has experienced being a caregiver – twice. Just like my mother, in fact, who took care of my father when he had brain cancer and my stepfather when he had complications from epilepsy. I’ll be writing about that in my book. If you think your mom would like to be interviewed and relate some of her anecdotes, please let me know. Humor does get us through and it sounds like you both have plenty of it. I salute you! And yes, play ball!