Jane Heller

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author

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I Thought This Was Hilarious

March 10, 2011

Apparently, people can tell what sort of a person you are by your email address? Check out this Huffington Post piece today. Talk about stereotyping.

If you’re an AOL user:

AOL users are most likely to be overweight women ages 35-64 who have a high school diploma and are spiritual, but not religious. They tend to be politically middle of the road, in a relationship of 10+ years, and have children. AOL users live in the suburbs and haven’t traveled outside their own country. Family is their first priority. AOL users mostly read magazines, have a desktop computer, listen to the radio, and watch TV on 1-3 DVRs in their home. At home, they lounge around in sweats. AOL users are optimistic extroverts who prefer sweet snacks and like working on a team.

If you’re into Gmail:

Gmail users are most likely to be thin young men ages 18-34 who are college-educated and not religious. Like other young Hunch users, they tend to be politically liberal, single (and ready to mingle), and childless. Gmail users live in cities and have traveled to five or more countries. They’re career-focused and plugged in — they mostly read blogs, have an iPhone and laptop, and listen to music via MP3s and computers (but they don’t have a DVR). At home, they lounge around in a t-shirt and jeans. Gmail users prefer salty snacks and are introverted and entrepreneurial. They are optimistic or pessimistic, depending on the situation.

If Hotmail’s your thing:

Hotmail users are most likely to be young women of average build ages 18-34 (and younger) who have a high school diploma and are not religious. They tend to be politically middle of the road, single, and childless. Hotmail users live in the suburbs, perhaps still with their parents, and have traveled to up to five countries. They mostly read magazines and contemporary fiction, have a laptop, and listen to music via MP3s and computers (but they don’t have a DVR). At home, Hotmail users lounge around in a t-shirt and jeans. They’re introverts who prefer sweet snacks and like working on a team. They consider themselves more pessimistic, but sometimes it depends on the situation.

And Yahoo users are:

Yahoo! users are most likely to be overweight women ages 18-49 who have a high school diploma and are spiritual, but not religious. They tend to be politically middle of the road, in a relationship of 1-5 years, and have children. Yahoo! users live in the suburbs or in rural areas and haven’t traveled outside their own country. Family is their first priority. They mostly read magazines, are almost equally likely to have a laptop or desktop computer, listen to the radio and cds, and watch TV on 1-2 DVRs in their home. At home, Yahoo! users lounge around in pajamas. They’re extroverts who prefer sweet snacks and like working on a team. Yahoo! users are optimistic or pessimistic, depending on the situation.

I love how they can tell what size you are and what you like to eat. I mean, come on.


Filed Under: Lifestyle, Mainly Jane, Popular culture Tagged With: AOL, email addresses, Gmail, Hotmail, Huffington Post, stereotyping, Yahoo

And I Thought I Was Snarky

February 15, 2011

Has anyone else noticed how mean people are lately? I don’t want to make myself out to be a saint here; I’m hardly that and can trade bitchisms with the best/worst of the snark artists. But I do have the compassion gene when it comes to the misfortunes of others. I wouldn’t be writing a book about caregiving if I didn’t.

Case in point. Yahoo posted an excerpt of Esquire‘s interview with Liam Neeson, who opens up about the sudden death of his wife, Natasha Richardson. Who wouldn’t be sympathetic to a man getting a call saying his wife had hit her head while skiing and was in a coma? And yet commenters on Yahoo were critical of Neeson because of the following:

“I walked into the emergency — it’s like 70, 80 people, broken arms, black eyes, all that — and for the first time in years, nobody recognizes me. Not the nurses. The patients. No one. And I’ve come all this way, and they won’t let me see her,” Liam recounted to Esquire. “And I’m looking past them, starting to push… I know my wife’s back there someplace. I pull out a cell phone — and a security guard comes up, starts saying, ‘Sorry, sir, you can’t use that in here,’ and I’m about to ask him if he knew me, when he disappears to answer a phone call or something. So I went outside. It’s freezing cold, and I thought, What am I gonna do? How am I going to get past the security?”

They focused on the fact that he seemed upset that no one recognized him. Right, but he was trying to get in to see his wife who, as far as he knew, was at death’s door! I mean give the guy a break!

I couldn’t believe the remarks about how celebrities think they deserve special treatment and the like. The story wasn’t about that, as you’ll see if you read the whole excerpt. It was about how an actor threw himself into his work so he wouldn’t have to face his loss.

And then there’s the local CBS reporter in LA who appeared to have a mini-stroke on the air while covering the Grammys the other night. By now, I’m sure everyone has seen the video of her speaking incoherently.

I found the video terrifying, because whatever was going on with her could happen to any of us. All anyone at CBS will say is that she underwent medical tests, but doctors have been all over the airwaves with possible theories involving a brain malfunction.

What are people saying on Twitter, on the other hand?

“She was drunk.”

“News people speak gibberish all the time.”

“Send her to rehab with Charlie Sheen.”

Seriously? She’s a young, beautiful woman who suddenly lost control of her ability to form words. I’ve volunteered in hospitals long enough to spot a medical problem when I see one. It wouldn’t occur to me to mock her (unless, of course, it turns out that she was drunk, in which case I’ll delete this entire post).

And then we come to CBS News reporter Lara Logan, who was sexually assaulted covering the events in Egypt last week.

(Photo: CBS News)

The comments have ranged from “Well, she’s hot” to “unprintable.”

Have we lost our way or what?

Filed Under: Mainly Jane, Movies, News stories, Popular culture Tagged With: CBS News, Egypt, Esquire, Grammy Awards, Lara Logan, Liam Neeson, Natasha Richardson, Serene Branson, snark, Yahoo

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About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.

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