Not a subject anyone wants to have, but once you get to a certain point in your life there’s a chance your mother or father will need more care than he or she is getting at home – or that you can provide in your home.

My mom is 95 and still lives at home with her caregiver, still goes to her book group, still sees friends for lunch or dinner. But for some, it’s better not to be isolated and instead live among men and women their own age.

As an adult child of an elderly parent, the question is always how to step in if Mom or Dad is stubborn/in denial/cognitively impaired? And how can we stop feeling guilty about stepping in?

Liz Schierer, the director of memory care at Maravilla, a seniors community in Santa Barbara, put up with all my questions during the interview we did for YOU’D BETTER NOT DIE OR I’LL KILL YOU. Now, she shares some of her wisdom on the “Cam.”