Jane Heller

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author

Yankees-Red Sox 2 & 3: A Split

If the Yankees had to split the doubleheader, I sort of wish we’d lost the first game and won the second. That way I wouldn’t have to go to bed with visions of Cory Wade giving up runs.

But oh well. The first game was fun. I owe Sweaty Freddy a big apology for doubting him; he pitched great. And what a show by Andruw Jones, who has such an appealing smile and gave us plenty to smile about.

Hughes wasn’t bad in the nightcap but he wasn’t stellar, and he was victimized by some shoddy defense. And the bats fell silent after their initial flurry of activity (except for Jones again). It was as if they decided they’d had enough scoring and just left the ballpark.

You know who I enjoyed watching, aside from Jones? Cano. He made some plays – those throws where he slings the ball to first – that made me shake my head with awe.

You know who I didn’t enjoy watching (aside from Russell Martin who needs to go to the glue factory at this point and the above-mentioned Cory Wade)? Darnell McDonald. Dreadlocks or no dreadlocks, I think that experiment needs to end.

 

Yankees-Red Sox 2 & 3: A Split

If the Yankees had to split the doubleheader, I sort of wish we’d lost the first game and won the second. That way I wouldn’t have to go to bed with visions of Cory Wade giving up runs.

But oh well. The first game was fun. I owe Sweaty Freddy a big apology for doubting him; he pitched great. And what a show by Andruw Jones, who has such an appealing smile and gave us plenty to smile about.

Hughes wasn’t bad in the nightcap but he wasn’t stellar, and he was victimized by some shoddy defense. And the bats fell silent after their initial flurry of activity (except for Jones again). It was as if they decided they’d had enough scoring and just left the ballpark.

You know who I enjoyed watching, aside from Jones? Cano. He made some plays – those throws where he slings the ball to first – that made me shake my head with awe.

You know who I didn’t enjoy watching (aside from Russell Martin who needs to go to the glue factory at this point and the above-mentioned Cory Wade)? Darnell McDonald. Dreadlocks or no dreadlocks, I think that experiment needs to end.

 

Was That Game The Pits Or What?

I wasn’t going to post this weekend, but my plane ended up landing just as the game was starting. Considerate of the pilot, wasn’t it?

Warren got bombed and Phelps wasn’t much better, but Cory Wade – I hate to keep harping on him because he’s probably a nice guy – just stinks. Yes, he was good last year and early this year, but he’s not good anymore and we need to bid him a fond farewell.

Dewayne Wise. LOL. His outing didn’t have the outright campiness of Nick Swisher’s pitching performance – the fact that Swisher’s was at the Trop gave it more levity – but he was great just the same. I’m starting to love Wise and hope he hangs around all season.

All kidding aside though, I wish we had a kid in AAA who could throw 98 mph, come to the majors right now and become the next great hope. We need somebody.

Yes, it’s hot in NY but fortunately I like the heat!

And The Oscar For Best Actor Goes To…

Dewayne Wise. What an incredible performance in tonight’s victory against the Indians – a victory that almost wasn’t a victory thanks to Cory Wade but more on that in a sec.

First Wise’s Jeter impersonation. What better way for him to celebrate the Captain’s birthday than to throw himself into the seats to make a dazzling catch? Very Jeterian – except that Wise didn’t make the catch. Not even close.

If you missed it, check out the video and commentary on Deadspin. What is the matter with the ump that he didn’t ask to see the ball? Did he have a hot dinner date after the game? Seriously terrible.

But I don’t want the Wise non-catch to overshadow what was another fine outing for Hughes. He was great. And I figured, as I’m sure he did when he left the game, that he’d not only get the win but a shutout. Wrong. I understand that Girardi probably thought a 7-0 lead was the perfect time to bring in the slumping Wade, but Cory seems ready for the glue factory. Soriano never should have had to come in to close this one. At least he only faced one batter.

So. Another night. Another win. We got excellent starting pitching and good hitting (including actual non-homers). I’m happy.

 

 

Soriano Gives Me Heartburn

He got the save tonight and the Yankees won the series finale against the dreaded Angels, but Rafael is clearly not a one-two-three type of closer. He’ll walk people and/or give up a hit, but as long as he finishes the game without letting the opposition score, I’ll live with the acid reflux.

So. The rally monkey didn’t work for the Angels in this one. Boo hoo. Granderson and Cano were the offensive stars and Cory Wade was the pitching star and although Nova wasn’t exactly dominating (I was surprised he lasted as long as he did), it all turned out okay. We were lucky to get out of town without being on the wrong end of a sweep. Whew.

I feel better that our guys have the win going into the series with the Tigers. I hope it’ll give them confidence. I hope it’ll give me confidence.

 

 

 

Eaten Up By The Blue Jays

I went out with a friend for drinks this afternoon, so I managed to avoid most of what turned out to be the latest fiasco. It was still a close game when I got home in the 7th inning, but that little bomb Cory Wade gave up put things out of reach for the Yankees’ non-existent offense.

Wow. They’re bad. Not every opposing pitcher is Sandy Koufax, so what’s the problem? Yes, tonight’s hurler was an unknown and we know how much trouble they have with unknowns. But still. What is the problem?

In the past when the team has gone into a collective slump, I’ve said, “Well, it’s cold.” Or: “Well, they’re banged up.” Or even: “Well, these things happen.” But now? Other than Tex’s respiratory issues, what’s the excuse?

I guess I could chalk it up to the month of May; if memory serves the Yankees don’t hit in May. At least that’s what happened in 2007 when I was writing the “She-Fan” book. They rallied and came on strong in June and beyond. Maybe the pattern will repeat itself.

Meanwhile, Hughes pitched well enough to win. I guess we should be grateful for that.

 

We Have A New Hero

Photo: Getty Images

Actually, the entire Yankees bullpen was the hero of tonight’s wild, wild game that lasted nearly five hours. Whew, what a crazy one. I’m exhausted.

Sweaty Freddy got the start and did his best impersonation of this guy.

Photo: Nathan Denette/Associated Press

Five wild pitches and a bunch of hit batsmen? Not good. Not good at all.

But the Yanks played catch-up and clawed their way back to tie the game, and the bullpen was tremendous in shutting the Orioles down until Ibanez could knock in the winning run.

I’m talking about David Phelps….David Robertson…Cory Wade…Clay Rapada…and Mo looking like Mo. Great job by all of them.

Jeter has been hitting so well and A-Rod has been so not hitting well that I’m thinking Jeter should hit cleanup and A-Rod should spend more time with Kevin Long.

But the fact is that despite all the stranded runners – and there were way too many of them tonight – the team showed a lot of heart, coming back and getting the “W” in extras.

A very enjoyable evening, although I was a nervous wreck from the sixth inning on!

A quick P.S. about Ozzie Guillen’s suspension.

He was incredibly stupid in making his Castro remark, given his team’s market. But I’m not the speech police and I’d say to the Marlins: “You hired Ozzie Guillen. Did you really expect him not to say crazy stuff?” Still, they’re a private organization and they can hire, fire or suspend anybody they want – and should. What puzzled me the most was Ozzie’s “apology,” in which he said it was all a misunderstanding because of his poor grasp of English. Yeah, uh-huh.

 

Just To Show I Have A Pulse…

…I figured I’d better write something.

But seriously, am I supposed to get excited that the Yankees re-signed Cory Wade? Or that Don Mattingly’s son will be in the minor league system? Or that Hal Steinbrenner met with Scott Boras and may have discussed Edwin Jackson?

I didn’t think so.

I guess I’d better get used to the fact that our 2012 team will look exactly like our 2011 team (except for Colon). Not that being a division-winning club is anything to sneeze at.

We have a great group of guys and (with an exception or two) I love them all. It’s just that I hoped Cashman would tweak the rotation.

There’s still time for him to make a move. I’m just not expecting one at this point.

 

 

Don’t Ask

To those who didn’t stay up for the finale in this series, I have this to say: you’re lucky.

I really didn’t want to lose tonight, especially since the Sox and Rays had lost and there was a huge opportunity to gain more ground, but there you are. We lost. In extras. On a walkoff homer served up by Cory Wade.

It was inevitable. Aside from Swisher’s solo shot, the offense was AWOL and you don’t win ballgames with zero offense.

Nova resembled his buddy AJ at times – there were leadoff walks plus a wild pitch that cost us a run – but he mostly pitched out of trouble and was bailed out by Robertson and Soriano.

Some sparkling defense was in evidence but Eduardo Scissorhands made the same bonehead move he made a few games ago by not covering third on a play. (I said bad things to the TV when it happened.)

Cano was hit on the foot by a pitch and looked truly pained. If he goes down we’ll be in big trouble, so let’s all send healing vibes to him.

And that’s the story from the west coast.

Well, except that A-Rod and his thumb will, apparently, be in the lineup in Toronto on Friday. That made news, as did his supposed breakup with Cameron Diaz. And we were speculating back in February that they were getting engaged.

Don't Ask

To those who didn’t stay up for the finale in this series, I have this to say: you’re lucky.

I really didn’t want to lose tonight, especially since the Sox and Rays had lost and there was a huge opportunity to gain more ground, but there you are. We lost. In extras. On a walkoff homer served up by Cory Wade.

It was inevitable. Aside from Swisher’s solo shot, the offense was AWOL and you don’t win ballgames with zero offense.

Nova resembled his buddy AJ at times – there were leadoff walks plus a wild pitch that cost us a run – but he mostly pitched out of trouble and was bailed out by Robertson and Soriano.

Some sparkling defense was in evidence but Eduardo Scissorhands made the same bonehead move he made a few games ago by not covering third on a play. (I said bad things to the TV when it happened.)

Cano was hit on the foot by a pitch and looked truly pained. If he goes down we’ll be in big trouble, so let’s all send healing vibes to him.

And that’s the story from the west coast.

Well, except that A-Rod and his thumb will, apparently, be in the lineup in Toronto on Friday. That made news, as did his supposed breakup with Cameron Diaz. And we were speculating back in February that they were getting engaged.

Some Trends Are More Positive Than Others

No, I’m not talking about the vagaries of the stock market. I’m talking about the ever-changing winds of the Yankees.

(courtesy: denninger.com)

Today’s series victory over the Angels continued some upward trends:

  1. Colon’s terrific starts.
  2. Granderson’s remarkable power.
  3. Soriano’s perfection since his return from the DL.
  4. Cano’s home run derby-ness. (I think I just invented a word.)
  5. The Yankees’ ability to beat a team that used to bedevil us.

But there were some downward trends that carried an ominousness to them.

  1. Mo’s ineffectiveness against lefties.
  2. Mo’s decreasing velocity.
  3. Mo’s cutter not cutting.
  4. Mo’s recent tendency to serve up the long ball.

Yes, I’m freaked out about Mo. (Cory Wade’s little meltdown didn’t register on my freakout scale.)

I know I said he goes through rough patches in August, and he does. The runs he gives up tend to come in bunches. He always bounces back and I expect him to do the same this time too and then be his god-like self for even longer stretches. But whenever he shows he’s human, it’s hard to take. With Jorge having been marginalized, I can’t conceive of Mo retiring and the Core Four eroding into the Core One.

Dumb And Dumber

I only wish I meant the above movie characters.

Sadly, I’m talking about two of the Yankees in tonight’s series opener against the Angels.

AJ may have become a platinum blonde, but it didn’t change anything. He had his usual flashes of brilliance only to have that one bad inning that too often sends him to the showers (with a lack of run support from his teammates, I should add). He seems incapable of hanging onto a lead, however slim.

But the Yankees clawed their way back to tie the game, with Cory Wade and Dave Robertson delivering more great pen work.

And then Mo. The horror.

No, I’m not calling him dumb. Never. He’s going through his usual rough patch. It happens every August, doesn’t it? I just hope he’s not hurt.

The dumb one was Granderson. Yes, I know. He put us on the board with his homer, but with Tex up in the bottom of the ninth he gets picked off? Seriously? Way to kill a rally and lose a ballgame.

Too bad this one didn’t get rained out. Ugh.

Austin Kearns? Really?

Photo: Rob Tringali/Getty Images North America

Shelley Duncan? Really?

Why is it that ex-Yankees – mediocre ex-Yankees – always beat us? I know, I know. They probably try harder. Still, doesn’t it seem as if Melky, Betemit and other castoffs are the ones who do damage?

In tonight’s loss, it was Shelley who got the Indians’ offense started and Kearnsy who finished us off. Such a shame too. A.J. pitched superbly for 100+ pitches, but was clearly struggling in the 7th after being victimized by a pop-up that neither A-Rod nor Gardner could catch. I expected Girardi to lift him, not learning until later that Ayala and Mo were both ailing (was that why he blew the save yesterday?) and our pen was short of arms. Cory Wade got the nod and didn’t do much with it.

At least we weren’t no-hit by Josh Tomlin. I mean seriously. That would have been unpleasant, especially on the occasion of Jeter’s return from the DL. Has our offense disappeared again? Or was Tomlin that good?

I hope everyone had a Happy July 4th, in spite of what turned out to be a bummer of a game. I did – thanks to a steak barbecue and one of my favorite summer treats.

Pie

Photo: Anthony Gattine

I know. It’s shaving cream, not dessert. But it’s just really, really fun to watch A.J. creep up the steps of the dugout with the towel in his hand and smash the stuff all over somebody’s face.

Today’s recipient was Brett Gardner and he deserved it. He slapped a single in Damon-esque style, sending Granderson home with the winning run in extras. We swept the Rangers. Yay.

Interesting debut by Brian Gordon. He handled Texas well, getting into a little trouble here and there but giving the Yankees five-plus innings of solid pitching. Noesi, Robertson and Mo did their parts, and Cory Wade, another guy who wasn’t even on the team 24 hours ago, got the “W.” Strange how things work out.

Good job by Posada knocking in the tying run off Wilson. (The Rangers do like their pitchers to throw; he was over 122 pitches when he finally came out of the game.) And it was nice to see Martin get his groove back.

What to make of Rangers catcher Torrealba’s accusation that the Yankees were stealing signs from second during the series? Here’s my reaction.

Yeah, like so what? I’ve never understood the problem with stealing signs if, indeed, that’s what the Yankees were doing. Maybe the Rangers pitchers just needed to pitch better.

Who ARE These Yankees Anyway?

From home runs by Nunez and Pena to solid relief efforts by Wade and Marquez, I kept blinking my eyes and wondering what the hell was going on. If you told me these guys would figure into the Yankees’ thrashing of the Rangers tonight, I never would have believed it.

But then every infielder had a homer (and, of course, Tex had two – one from each side) in a game in which the offense overshadowed a shaky start by Nova, yet another error by Nunez and more ridiculous throws by Cervelli.

There’s no need for me to recap except to say I sure wish we’d beat up on the Rangers like this during the ALCS last year.

Photo: AP/Tony Gutierrez

Timing is everything, right? And I realize they’re a different team without Cliff Lee. But still. I wonder if Andy Pettitte (Happy Birthday, Andy, btw) would have retired if we’d have won that series.

Moving on, I sure hope Brian Gordon is up to the challenge in tomorrow’s game. I bet he’s sitting in his hotel room right now biting his nails, spitting out sunflower seeds, gnawing on the arm of the couch. I’m saying he’s probably nervous, in other words. Maybe somebody could slip him one of these?

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About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.