Princess Charming
Reviews • Inspiration • Read the First Chapter
What do you get when you put three divorced women and one desperate hit man on a ship bound for the aquamarine waters of the Caribbean? You get Jane Heller's sparkling novel of love, sex and murder.
Feisty, fast-talking P.R. executive Elaine Zimmerman and her best friends Jackie Gault and Pat Kovecky have taken their annual vacations together ever since they first met in the courthouse getting their respective divorces. Together, they've been everywhere and done it all, from herbal wrapping to white-water rafting to running with the wolves at some New Age place in the Catskills.
This year, Jackie and Pat have talked the land-locked Elaine into a seven-day cruise aboard the spectacular megaship, the Princess Charming. It isn't her idea of a good time -- especially when her luggage is mislaid and she's forced to resort to the ship boutique's tacky version of cruisewear. As for meeting Mr. Right on board, Elaine stopped believing in happily-ever-after when her undertaker husband cheated on her with the woman who performed last-rite makeovers on the corpses.
It's a chip on her shoulder Elaine's proud of, until it's knocked off by a surge of romantic electricity the first night at sea when she's seated next to Sam Peck. This couldn't be love at first sight (because she doesn't believe in love at first sight), or even lust at first sight (because she's the least lusty person on the planet), but whatever it is she can't resist it. She's on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday, and it wouldn't kill her to fall in love.
...Or would it?
A glimmer of doubt becomes full-fledged suspicion when Elaine inadvertently learns that somebody's ex-wife has been marked for murder -- and the hired hit man is already on board. But who's going to believe a world-wary New York career woman with a touch of paranoia? More to the point, whose ex is out to deep-six whom... and who's going to do it?
With her merciless eye for detail and wicked wit honed to knife-edge perfection, Jane Heller has crafted a novel that combines satire and suspense, mystery and romance while also managing to skewer the social pretensions of the upwardly grasping. Princess Charming is a sexy, funny, buoyant celebration of friendship, life, lust and, of course, true love. Even if the glass slipper is several sizes too small and the prince arrives about ten years too late.
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People Magazine
6/2/97
Beach Book of the Week
Reviewed by Cynthia Sanz
They met in divorce court, where they were dumping their respective husbands. Now the best of friends, Elaine Zimmerman, Jackie Gault and Pat Kovecky call themselves the Three Blond Mice and take yearly vacations together. On this year's itinerary: a weeklong cruise aboard the Princess Charming, where they hope to enjoy rest, relaxation and-who knows? -- perhaps a little romance.
Their second night at sea, Zimmerman, a plucky but slightly paranoid PR executive, overhears snatches of a ship-to-shore call between an onboard hit man and someone who has hired the killer to murder his former wife. Is one of the Mice the intended victim? Is the hit man one of the trio's new male admirers, each of whom seems to have something to hide? Heller, herself a former PR exec, has created a seamless read that blends romance, mystery and wit.
Though light on suspense -- a veteran romance reader will have little doubt how the drama will be resolved -- this Princess is a shipload of fun.
Booklist
March 1, 1997
Reviewed by Melanie Duncan
When Elaine, Jackie, and Pat plan their yearly getaway, they are unprepared for life on the luxury liner Princess Charming. Elaine agonizes over how her travel agent lied to her: the quality of the single men on the ship is debatable, and she can't see out the porthole in her minuscule cabin because a lifeboat hangs there! When Elaine overhears a plot to murder a divorced woman onboard the ship, she suspects every man she meets of being the hit man. When Jackie becomes ill, or is poisoned, and Pat falls down the stairs, or is pushed, Elaine finds a threatening note and must race against time to find the man who has orders to kill before the cruise returns to Miami. Heller uses stereotypical passengers and situations to highlight the humor of Elaine's plight. She is surrounded by amorous octogenarians, feuding newlyweds, and polyester heaven, and her reactions to the cruise make for an unforgettable read. Heller keeps getting better! A must purchase for all collections.
Copyright ©1997, American Library Association. All rights reserved
Kirkus Reviews
February 1, 1997
Heller strikes again with this razzle-dazzle cruise ship murder mystery, sure to be a big hit with her faithful following. The Princess Charming is the crown jewel of the Sea Swan line. Middle-aged cliches Elaine Zimmerman (world-weary, hardened divorcee), Pat Kovecky (mom with a heart of gold abandoned by husband in mid-life crisis), and Jackie Gault (hot-to-trot suddenly single fortysomething) have done Canyon Ranch, hit Telluride, been to Anguilla--why not a Caribbean cruise? At least that's what Pat and Jackie tell a reluctant Elaine, who, of course, loses her luggage as soon as she steps on board and is forced to buy sequined gowns from the on-ship boutique to wear day and night, for everything from day trips to shipboard strolling. But that's the least of Elaine's problems. The first day out she overhears an ominous phone call and learns that someone on board is trying to murder one of her friends. Meanwhile, after years of dating Mr. Wrong and all his brothers in Manhattan, she's finally met a man she likes, at her assigned dinner table no less--Sam Peck is wealthy, handsome, successful, and suave. All of the tablemates, however, become suspects in Elaine's quest to save her friend (she's still not sure which of the two is in trouble). The oversexed elderly couple and the rich Greenwich stockbroker and his shopaholic wife could be less harmless than they first appear--and even Sam himself could be a heartless killer. The popular travel magazine, Away From It All, comes into play, with a surprise ending that hinges on a secret identity, but rest assured that they all- -including the endearing worrywart Elaine--get what they truly deserve. As easy and mindless as seven days at sea on a deluxe cruise- -slick, sassy, and expertly executed.
Copyright ©1997, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
My fourth novel, Princess Charming, is dedicated to bestselling historical novelist John Jakes. A truly nice man, as well as a talented writer, John was finishing up the final volume in his "Kent Family Chronicles" when we met in the late'70s (I was a book publicist then). We were reunited a few years ago when he and his wife Rachel spent a winter in Florida. Over dinner one night, I mentioned to John that I was about to start a new book. He said with great enthusiasm, "Set it on a Caribbean cruise." I said, "But I've never taken a Caribbean cruise." He said, "Then make a reservation. Cruises are terrific material."
The more I thought about the idea of a cruise ship as a backdrop for a comic mystery-romance, the better I liked it. So my husband and I booked a seven-day Caribbean cruise on Royal Caribbean's Sovereign of the Seas, and off we went - in the middle of hurricane season!
We survived the trip, obviously (researching Caribbean cruises is a tough job but somebody's got to do it!), 
and I did get terrific material. But while the novel's title does refer to the name of the ship in the story, it's also meant to be a "spin" on the Cinderella myth. Instead of the man coming to the rescue of the poor, miserable woman, Princess Charming is about a woman coming to the rescue of a poor, miserable man. It's about three women, all best friends, all divorced, who take a cruise, utterly unaware that one of their ex-husbands has hired a hit man to kill one of them on the ship.
A selection of the Literary Guild and Doubleday Book Club, Princess Charming was published in hardcover by Kensington in 1997 and in paperback in '98. A People magazine "Beach Book of the Week," it was optioned by Disney's Buena Vista division for a feature film.
Here's a shot of me during the research trip for Princess Charming. Royal Caribbean's megaship, the Sovereign of the Seas, is in the background.A "stilt man," as they're called in the Caribbean, is looming behind me. Our original itinerary had us stopping in St. Thomas, among other islands, but due to an active hurricane season, we were diverted to St. Croix, where this photo was taken.
