While I Was Absent From This Blog…

January 1st, 2012 by Jane Heller

…There wasn’t much going on in Yankeeville. Not for the entire holiday season. I’m still waiting for my front-of-the-rotation starter to show up, but in the meantime here’s a recap the “big” end-of-the-year stories:

1) Sweaty Freddy was re-signed.

AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Frank Gunn)

2) Smiling Andruw was re-signed.

3) My-Left-Arm Okajima was brought on board.

Courtesy: yankeesdaily.com

4) A-Rod went to a doctor in Germany on the advice of his guitar hero friend.

5) A-Rod and his freshly injected blood platelets jetted to Cabo with his new girlfriend.

5a) A former wrestler, Cameron Diaz’s replacement is rather….muscular.

6) Jeter and Minka said, “Oui oui,” and went to Paris for New Year’s.

Photo: splashnews/nypost

6a) Pssst, Derek. You took her to one of the most romantic places on earth. I hope you gave her one of these.

Photo: Tiffany

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14 Responses to “While I Was Absent From This Blog…”

  1. margaret says:

    I predict the whole break up was a rouse to throw off the papz.
    They got married and they are in Paris for their honeymoon.
    His people put the crazy yet hysterically funny piece in the paper about his gift baskets to his “girls” to again throw off the media.
    I wouldn’t put it past them.
    signed,
    Psychic Margarita

  2. Jane Heller says:

    Do you do readings, Psychic Margarita? LOL. I think your assessment of the situation is genius. Of course he planned it all. Such a smart guy, that captain.

  3. Bob Cerv says:

    Happy New Year, somewhat belatedly, to all.
    Okay…knew about The Return of Freddy G…but not about Andruw J…and now they got Okajima? Well, then, there’s a miniscule bit of progress, methinx. Can’t never have too many lefties.

    As for The Romance Column…to paraphrase Yoda, clueless as ever I am. Alex had best not mess around on this wrestler, or so it would seem! And it appears that Psychic Margarita has read her tea leaves well. Makes as much sense as anything (or moreso)!

  4. Jane Heller says:

    Happy New Year to you, Dave. Yes, Okajima was signed to a minor league contract. He didn’t play much at the major league level last year, so he sounds like another reclamation project, but who knows.

  5. Jeff says:

    NOOOOO! Don’t do it, Jeet! LOL. Also, how did A-Rod get such white legs as those shown in that Guitar Hero pic? It appears the Yanks are still trying to pin someone down to pitch…. I am available, in case Cash is wondering.

  6. Jane Heller says:

    I don’t think A-Rod’s legs look white, Jeff. Well, except for the white socks. Maybe they look lighter because they’re next to Kobe’s? The latest on the pitching situation is that Cashman is waiting until NEXT year to go for Cole Hamels or Matt Cain. Who knows.

  7. Jeff says:

    Next year? There is no next year in Yankeeland! Always now! Haha. Upon further inspection, you are right about A-Rod’s legs. Perhaps my home computer screen’s white balance is out of whack compared to the ole office computer.

  8. rin says:

    I hope the Captain gave her a ring either, I always thought he probably will never settle down if he let her go. And it seems like many people have the same thought. If he afraid they divorce one day, then, no matter how old he get married, chances are the same. But he has more time being with his children.

    http://minkakellyweb.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=397
    I saw the pics of Paris trip, they seem happy, but still……don’t know what he waiting for. lol

  9. John says:

    Are you ok? I thought an author was never lost for words!!

  10. Jane Heller says:

    I hope the Captain and Minka stay together too, rin. But maybe he’s waiting until he retires to get married. It’s tough to have a relationship with the kind of careers they have.

    An author shouldn’t write if she has nothing new to say, John. During this very slow off-season, I’ve been spending more time on my other blog.

  11. rin says:

    Not sure he will retire after 2014 if he still can hit.lol That’s a long road.

  12. John says:

    And now there will be 2 leftof the core 4.

    Maybe Paul Simon will write another song and include them all some day.

  13. Jane Heller says:

    Yup, John. See my new post.