The Wisdom Of My Mother, She-Fan #1 (W/ Update)

February 6th, 2011 by Jane Heller

(Mom modeling the bathrobe I gave her for Christmas)

Given all the snow in New York and my mother’s concern about it (she lives at the end of a country road and her steep driveway is treacherous when icy), I didn’t have a chance to ask her how she felt about Andy Pettitte retiring.

“I’m still sad about it,” I said on the phone with her today.

“Well, it’s definitely the end of an era,” she said. “And he was such a nice young man.”

“He seemed to be,” I said. “I cried when I watched his press conference.”

“I can just picture that,” she said with a laugh, knowing me well.

“So his not being a Yankee anymore doesn’t bother you that much?” I said.

She didn’t answer right away, then: “Not really, since there’s nothing we can do about it.”

And just like that, my mother put the whole thing in perspective: There’s nothing we can do about it. Might as well move on.

I also asked her if she was watching the Super Bowl.

“I don’t even know who’s playing,” she said.

After we got off the phone, I turned on the game to check the score.  And then I turned it off. More entertaining to me than the football itself was the brouhaha over Christina Aguilera’s botching of the “National Anthem.”

Never mind that she screwed up the words. What really irritated me was her relentless over-singing. Why must every syllable become three or four? She made my ears bleed, as the expression goes.


P.S. Since I wrote this, I discovered that A-Rod and Cameron (sorry, Cam-Rod) were at the Super Bowl and that Fox’s camera caught Cameron feeding him popcorn. Here’s the evidence.

Maybe he will propose to her on V-Day? On the other hand, he could have done the deed tonight in Dallas. A romantic guy like him could have hidden the ring in the popcorn bag and then….Oh, look! It all could have been caught on camera too.


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26 Responses to “The Wisdom Of My Mother, She-Fan #1 (W/ Update)”

  1. Corinne says:

    Seeing you write about your mother again made me think of my own mother she fan. I haven’t talked to her about Andy, but while I am sure she would be just as much of a realist as your mom, I think she might have shed some tears as well. I wrote you a while back, after you had written about your mother’s great attitude toward the ups and downs of the team, and told you how my siblings and I were trying to arrange a tour of the “new” Yankee Stadium for our mom as a Christmas gift. Well, it’s scheduled for February 26. She cried when she received the tour book and certificate my sister was able to get from the really nice gentleman who made all the arrangements for us. She is still telling everyone about it and making plans. One of the nice side effects of the tour, is that the money for the tickets goes to the Yankee charities, so we are doing something nice for her, and it’s benefitting some others too. I can’t wait to get there too.

  2. Jane Heller says:

    I do remember that you and your sibs were trying to arrange a Stadium tour for your mother, Corinne. I’m so glad it worked out and is scheduled for the 26th. (Really nice side benefit about the proceeds going to Yankees charities.) Please be sure to tell us how it went and, if you like, send a pic and I’ll post it here. Best wishes to your mother, the other she-fan!

  3. Antonella says:

    LOL! Jane did you catch ARod being fed by Cam in the beginning?

  4. Jane Heller says:

    Only after the fact, Antonella. See the update to the post!

  5. Antonella says:

    I was asleep when it aired but you know how news travels on twitter. SMH! Oh, ARod.. I would hate to have to object at your wedding. LOL

  6. Jane Heller says:

    Yes, news does travel fast on Twitter. How else would I have found out about it? LOL. But what’s so bad about Cameron feeding him popcorn? Everybody is acting like it’s the centaur all over again!

  7. Drew says:

    Such a wise Mommy!

  8. John says:

    She Fan Mom is lovely as ever! The sad thing about the Anthem blunder is I truly wonder how many people on the street could actually sing or even say it without blunder. How quickly we forget who we are and shame, shame, shame on that disgraceful performance!

  9. Melissa says:

    Your mama is so wise!

    I heard the anthem from upstairs and heard my son say “Why does she have to make every word into four syllables?”

    Remember when Jose feliciano’s lovely version got such flack?

    The Audi and vw commercials were great and the one with the guy and the diorito crumbs.

    It was a good game to watch. But eh, I still don’t get all the fuss. It’s not like it’s the world series or anything!

  10. Jeff says:

    The entire half-time show was a display in overproduction, just like Christina. I don’t get it. Your mom rocks, by the way. I always enjoy the original she-fan quips.

  11. Leo says:

    Watch the media blow this up to be something that it isn’t and call him lazy and won’t be a factor during the baseball season solely because he couldn’t feed himself his own popcorn or something stupid like that! I saw that during the game and I found it funny that A-Rod acknowledged the camera while he was being fed and looked right at it with a cheesy look on his face. As for Christina, I do agree that she did not need to oversing the anthem. We already know that she’s a talented singer so it just wasn’t necessary and was just to show off. Now as entertaining as the whole event was, I am happy it’s over and that means baseball is closer than ever now.

  12. Jane Heller says:

    She’s way wiser than I am, Drew. That’s for sure. Maybe when I’m 94….

    The thing for me about the Anthem blunder, John – Well, there are several things. It’s an impossible song to sing, but it’s usually the high notes, not the lyrics, that trip people up. I much prefer God Bless America. With Aguilera, not only did she butcher the notes with her wild interpretation but she messed up the lyrics – a double whammy. Maybe she was nervous, but she’s song it many times before at other events. No excuse.

    Your son is a smart boy, Melissa! I bet a lot of people didn’t even catch the mistakes. Since I didn’t watch the game, I missed the commercials. Will have to check them out online. Glad you mentioned the World Series. As I said on Twitter, for the two seconds I did watch and heard Joe Buck, I was reminded how much I can’t stand him and wish Fox would get rid of him for baseball. He’s so cringe-worthy.

    I heard the half-time show was bad, Jeff. No wardrobe malfunction for Fergie, I guess? Thanks for the nice words about my mom. She does rock.

    LOL about A-Rod, Leo. I think the media (and haters) will say he’s passive and has to have a woman feed him or something. I’m happy the Super Bowl is over too. Now it’s our turn! (Well, plus the NBA.)

  13. Jane,

    I was actually hoping for a Fergie wardrobe mal-function. It would have made the rest of it ( besides her singing) more appealing. Pure Usher had to open his trap and get involved in one of the worst production since “Gigli”.

    As for A-rod and Miss D, must really be a blow to your ego when people refer to your date as gorgeous instead of you….Sorry Cameron.

    Andy P…..Carl Crawford, Chone Figgins, B J Upton and Jacoby Ellsbury will be sending edible arrangements thanking you for letting them steal bases again. Pettitte was a mastermind at the pick-off move to first….Hopefully he will not become a chaoch and we have 1,000 of mini-Pettittes’ learning that art.

    Last but not least, the sage advice and wisdom of the first She-Fan of NY. Always love your mom’s take on things. Gives a different grasp of some subjects, plus states the obvious so we can stop daydreaming and holding out false hope…..Mother’s Day is approaching fast.

  14. Bob Cerv says:

    First up: thanx once again for giving us some homespun reactions from your National Treasure, dear ol’ Mom. Always in perspective…!
    Second: okay, I know 99% don’t care about the SB XLV outcome…but at our house, we LOVED seeing the Packers win it. One of my best buds from college is from Milwaukee, a devoted lifelong fan…and my dear spouse cannot stand the Steelers…they were hyping their “Stairway to 7” (championships) so much around here, you’d have thought they were the Red Sawx…or the Phillies!! Boo hoo…guess they’ll just hafta wait…
    Yeah, I saw/heard Christina warble. Usually pay no attention to the anthem…good time for a last pre-game potty break…but it was embarrassing…they all (well, all the female singers) try to match or outdo Whitney Houston’s version waaay back in SB XXV (you New Yorkers remember: Giants-Bills), and it doesn’t work…as for halftime…well, it was the expected MTV SuperDuperMegaUltraProduction, throw in flashy Slash, usher in Usher…yawn. Time for a nice loooong potty break…
    And now, Spring Training looms. Pitchers & catchers report…? More like “casting call” for “Major League” — what’s that line — “What league you pitch in last year?” “California Penal.” Heyy…ya think…?

  15. Jane Heller says:

    I think a lot of guys were hoping for a Fergie wardrobe malfunction, Renegade. Sorry for you that the only malfunction was Christina’s. You gave me a great idea of Andy Pettitte’s new job: pick-off coach! He doesn’t have to be a pitching coach. He just has to teach pitchers that one move, and the money they’ll pay him will be worth it. You mentioned my mother….Just got an email from her telling me she read this post and spotted a grammatical error I made. I have since corrected it. She’s the bomb.

    Congratulations to you and your household about the Packers, Dave. Glad their win made everybody happy. I think you’re right about female singers trying to imitate Whitney Houston from back in the day, although the style of singing now baffles me. What’s so bad about just trying to hold a note and then moving on to the next note? God, I’m old fashioned.

    Melissa, just watched the commercials from last night and you’re right about the ones you picked. Funny!

  16. Kristen says:

    Your mother is wonderful. Not worrying about the things we can’t change is excellent advice for all of us, but it’s probably also best that we don’t always listen or there would be a lot less to read on MLBlogs, he he.

    Ugh, Christina. Her rendition of the National Anthem is merely the latest example but it’s sad that subtle and understated have gone so far out of style…and the gaff was embarrassing. You know it’s bad when the football players, whose minds were probably more on the coming game than on the anthem, start looking uncomfortable and embarrassed.

  17. Was Mama Heller also sporting a cocktail, Jane? If so, God bless her! I raise my pint glass of Southern Tier IPA in salute.

    I will miss Andy quite a bit. He was a pro. He worked his ass off. He took winning and excellence very seriously. He delivered especially when it mattered in the post-season. 19 playoff wins; winning one of the greatest WS in my lifetime, beating Smoltz 1-0 in Game 5 of the ’96 Series, as a youngster; was 240-138, spending most of excellent career in the AL East, perennially the best division in baseball. To top it off, he was a great teammate, humble and well-respected. No one said an untoward word about him, ever. In a field such as sports, and in an era in which egos and salaries have skyrocketed, that says as much as anything. The guy will probably have to wait a while for it, but Andy Pettite deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. He’s arguably the second-greatest lefty starter (behind Whitey Ford) on by far the greatest, most successful franchise in the history of North American sports.

    It looks as though things have gotten off to a great start at the new digs, Jane. Keep up the great work.

  18. Jane Heller says:

    Not worrying about things we can’t change is definitely good advice, Kristen, but as you say we’d have nothing to write about if we followed it. Yes, sad and understated is so out of style. When did over-the-top take over? Ugh. I did notice that the football players were giving each other looks when she screwed up the lyrics. Bad.

    Hey, Jason. Look at you being so sharp to spot that glass in my mom’s hand. It was happy hour when that pic was taken. She has her half a glass of sherry every night before dinner – a highlight of the day. I know it’ll be tough to go forward without Andy. He was so valuable to this team for all the reasons you mention. I don’t think he’ll get into the HOF because of his high ERA, but I hope I’m wrong. His win total certainly puts him in the running. I’m really liking the new digs – no long wait to comment and post! What a relief!

  19. Melissa says:

    The half-time show was lame. Since people have mentioned Fergie’s looks, I will say that I usually think she is pretty, but I thought she looked bad last night. I think they should just let Bruce Springsteen do the show every year.

  20. Jane Heller says:

    I’d watch if the Rolling Stones did the show every year – even when they’re in the 90s!

  21. Nadine says:

    Ha ha, love the Cam-Rod thing! But I still don’t believe he’ll propose.
    By the way, have you read Ban’s ‘pinch hitting’ article on The LoHud today? That’s basically how I feel…lol!
    I guess your mom is right, Jane. We have to move on. But moving on WITH Andy would be even better. ;) I don’t think he will ever pitch again. :(

  22. Jane Heller says:

    I don’t think he’ll propose either, Nadine. Not that he’s calling to ask me for advice, but I think he should just continue to enjoy himself until he reports to camp – and then focus on baseball! I haven’t had a chance to read today’s LoHud pinch hitter post. Will check it out later.

  23. Dan says:

    I thought she sang ok, but messing up the lines was pretty bad…and then her voice cracked on Brave… yeah, it would have been romantic to put the ring in the popcorn then…oops! Cameron stuffs the ring in Arod’s mouth by accident! Maybe thats why they never showed the two again?

  24. Jane Heller says:

    Dan, I hadn’t thought of what might happen if A-Rod had put the ring in the popcorn and Cameron accidentally fed it to him! I can see the headline now: “A-Rod chokes on diamond; paramedics perform Heimlich maneuver.”

  25. Roseann says:

    Although I REALLY hate to bring this up, on the way to work yesterday “Enter Sandman” came on the radio, and it prompted me to think about this post. I started to think about how the emotion of Andy’s retirement was more than I had expected, and then the for a fleeting second I pictured Mo behind that podium (a fleeting second was all I could fathom!). Although we all know that day will eventually come, it was one of the most appalling thoughts I’ve had in a long time. If Andy upset me, I’m going to be a bona fide basket case on THAT day; I think I’m going to have to take the day off from work — and wait patiently for some much-need Jane’s Mom wisdom!

  26. Jane Heller says:

    I can just picture you hearing “Enter Sandman” and having that sudden flash of Mo behind the podium, Roseann. I would have been the same way. As I wrote somewhere (this blog, Twitter, can’t remember), the day Mo retires is the day I will have an ambulance on standby. My tears will fill a river. I may have to fly to NY and sit in my mother’s lap, sucking my thumb!