Confessions of a She-Fan

My Yankees-centric musings about baseball – the spawn of my Confessions of a She-Fan book, which is now a screenplay too.

My Patience Has Worn Thin

January 4, 2011

Frayed Jeans — (courtesy chiccheapandcrueltyfree)

I’ve never been good at waiting. Not for the phone to ring. Not for a package to arrive. And especially not for the Yankees to do something besides sign Pedro Feliciano. I’m tired of watching other teams make deals or be rumored to be making deals while our GM dresses as an elf for the holidays and rappels down a tall building. What I also have to admit is that I’m tired of waiting for Andy Pettitte to decide if he wants to come back and pitch for the Yankees. I love Andy. A lot. And I sincerely hope he’s on the 2011 team. But he’s been doing this dance with regularity and it’s gotten annoying. He’s had months to think about whether his family needs him at home, hasn’t he? Surely, his kids and his wife (and his aunts, uncles and cousins) have expressed their preference by now. And surely he can see how badly his teammates need him. So I get that he might be as torn as the jeans in the picture, but it’s time for a decision. Please, Andy. As the expression goes, “S—t or get off the pot.”

toilet — (courtesy heartless-bitches.com)

Those Red Sox People Are So Amusing

January 3, 2011

Here’s the headline that generated my laughter today.

2011 Red Sox Will Challenge 1927 Yankees for Title of Greatest Team in Major League History

It was from a blog on NESN that was brought to my attention by Paul Lebowitz’s blog earlier. Now don’t get me wrong; the Red Sox made terrific deals to upgrade their team this off-season, and my Red Sox fan friends (yes, I do have a few) are rightfully delirious with their shiny new acquisitions, just as we were when CC, AJ and Tex landed in our laps. But “the greatest team in major league history?”

That’s just plain hilarious. For starters, I wouldn’t be caught dead writing a headline like that, given how superstitious I am. (Talk about a jinx.) For another thing, isn’t it a little nutty to make such a grandiose prediction this early, particularly after 2010 when the Red Sox were supposed to be locked and loaded and instead ended up sending everybody to the DL? And finally, the author of this masterpiece decided to compare the 2011 Red Sox with the 1927 Yankees?

There’s a reason the ’27 Yanks were called “Murderers’ Row.” (And it wasn’t because they had a bunch of murderers on the team, which reminds me: Did everyone read about O’s pitcher Simon? Allegedly, he shot and killed a guy in the Dominican over the weekend and wounded another. I hate when that happens.) Babe Ruth hit 60 homers that year and Gehrig 47, and the others in the lineup were no slouches, either. The team dominated, absolutely dominated. So my question is this…Will the 2011 Red Sox dominate in the same way? Can any team dominate in the same way, given the competition these days? And who would comprise Boston’s Murderers’ Row? Crawford and Gonzalez are really good but are they Ruth and Gehrig? Are Pedroia and Youkilis? No doubt they’ll all score a ton of runs, but I’m just not ready to anoint them as the “greatest team in major league history.” That’s like saying the chicken and barley stew I made last night was the “greatest comfort food in culinary history.” I mean, it was excellent, if I do say so myself, but….Well, you get my drift.

The New Year Ushered In A New Yankees Friendship

January 1, 2011

I’m relieved to say I survived last night’s New Year’s Eve karaoke party. Actually, I not only survived but ended up having a really great time. Our hosts were gracious, everyone was in the holiday spirit and, once the machine started shooting out song after song, we all got into it. (Alcohol helped.) I’m hoarse today, so I must have been belting them out without realizing it. Anyhow, as promised, here are a couple of guests covering the Beatles. (Notice the guy in the background with the beard and glasses? That’s Michael, who claimed he didn’t sing, but as it’s plain to see he was moving his lips!)

Next up were our hosts (I promised I wouldn’t reveal their names so they wouldn’t be mortified). I hardly remembered the song “King of the Road” by Roger Miller but now I can’t get the damn thing out of my head.

The party was moving right along toward midnight when suddenly the karaoke machine started playing Neil Diamond’s….you guessed it….”Sweet Caroline.” I immediately held my ears and yelled, “God, no! Not that awful Red Sox song! I’m a Yankee fan!”

“You are?” asked Steve, one of the other guests.

“Absolutely,” I said, a little wary of admitting my allegiance in a town where most people root for the Dodgers or Angels.

“So am I,” said Steve, who explained that he grew up in Connecticut and has been a Yankee fan his whole life. “I’m really worried about the team going forward. The Red Sox made so many moves and we didn’t. I still can’t believe we didn’t get Cliff Lee.”

Well, that led to a discussion of the Bombers and our concern about the pitching, etc. Before we knew it, the TV came on and Ryan Seacrest was in Times Square counting down to midnight – and Frank Sinatra was in the background singing “New York, New York.”

“Now that song makes me feel a lot better,” I said. “We could be at Yankee Stadium right now.”

Which was not a bad way to end the evening.

Happy Karaoke New Year!

December 30, 2010

As I mentioned in last night’s post, I’m going to a New Year’s Eve party where there will be a karaoke machine and guests are supposed to, you know, sing. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have subjected myself to the humiliation, but here’s how this all unfolded.

My friend John: “We’re having a New Year’s Eve party this year and we’d love it if you’d come.”

Me: “I’m so there.”

My friend John: “It’ll be cool. You’ll get to meet my daughter and her fiance since they’re in town.”

Me: “I’ll really look forward to that. What can I bring?”

My friend John: “A bottle of wine, if you want. Or maybe something dessert-y and sweet.”

Me: “Will do.”

My friend John: “Oh, and bring your voice.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

My friend John: “We’re having a karaoke machine. Everybody’s gotta sing. It’ll be the perfect way to bring in the New Year.”

I smiled and nodded. And then I thought….Jane, you hate karaoke! Too late. I was trapped, having already said I was going. I’m sure it’ll be fun once I get into it, but I’m really hoping I don’t remind everyone of her…..

Oh, well. Maybe I’ll bring the She-Fan Cam and catch somebody else sounding awful, and if so I’ll be sure to post the video right here.

Wherever you’re going for New Year’s and whatever you’re doing, I hope you have a great time. Here’s to a happy, healthy, safe and prosperous 2011! (GO YANKEES!)