Jane Heller

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author

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Such A Deal: "Infernal Affairs" Is About To Be 99 Cents!

September 16, 2013

final.Infernal affairs

For the past few months we’ve been doing special promotions on the ebook editions of my novels, and this week the ebook getting the spotlight is my third novel, Infernal Affairs.

Starting tomorrow, September 17th, and continuing through September 24th, the price for Infernal Affairs will drop from $4.99 to 99 cents. The idea is not only to make the ebook even more affordable than it’s been but also to reach readers who may be new to my novels and want to give this one a try without too big an investment. And what author doesn’t love watching her books jump to the top of the rankings on Amazon and BNN? It’s fun!

So is Infernal Affairs, if I do say so myself. Actually, I’m not the only one who said it. People magazine called it “smart-mouthed fun.” And Kirkus Reviews called it “campy, over the top, down-and-dirty and a whole lot of fun.” Others liked the humor. Booklist: “fiendishly funny”….Library Journal: “very funny.”

What’s the story about? A Florida real estate agent who’s down on her luck. She can’t sell a house. She’s gained weight. And her husband’s just dumped her for the local TV weatherperson. She goes outside during a thunderstorm one night after too much wine and rails at the heavens to help her – only to find that it’s the Devil that’s been listening. Yup, she’s made an unwitting pact with the dark side and now she has to figure out how to get out of the deal. Her unlikely ally is the guy she’s despised since high school. They’re aided by an adorable Labrador retriever, but that’s enough about the plot. The point is there’s romance, suspense and some very wacky goings on.

Ellen DeGeneres and Disney optioned the novel back when it was in manuscript, but the movie never got made, sadly. It was re-optioned a few years later for a TV movie but that, too, didn’t go anywhere. I still think it would be a very commercial comedy, so maybe someday…..

Meanwhile, it’s only 99 cents, people! Go download it!

 

Filed Under: Humor, Mainly Jane, Movie deals Tagged With: comedy, Disney, Ellen DeGeneres, Infernal Affairs, novels, romance, supernatural

Thanks To Those Who Saw "Bridesmaids"

May 15, 2011

I wanted the movie to succeed for the sake of the FEMALE DRIVEN COMEDY and it did, surpassing expectations. From the LA Times:

“Bridesmaids,” the Judd Apatow-produced comedy starring “Saturday Night Live” cast member Kristen Wiig, had a better-than-expected debut with $24.4 million.

No, $24 million isn’t the stuff of blockbusters, but it’s more impressive than the anemic showing of recent romantic comedies. Here’s more:

Because there have been few R-rated female-driven comedies at the box office, Universal Pictures was unsure of how well “Bridesmaids” would perform. The studio had estimated the film would gross only about $15 million this weekend despite overwhelmingly positive reviews. (The movie currently has a 91% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.)

“Bridesmaids,” about a comical group of women helping their friend prepare for her wedding, appealed mostly to females. The audience was made up of 67% women, and 63% of the crowd was over 30. Those who saw the film seemed to like it, giving it an average grade of B-plus, according to market research firm CinemaScore. The movie was produced by Universal Pictures and Relativity Media for $32.5 million, meaning it is off to a decent start at the box office.

The film’s opening is good news for star Wiig. Best known for her eclectic “SNL” characters, the actress had never before had a leading role in a film, although she’d put in memorable cameos in movies, including Apatow’s “Knocked Up.” “Bridesmaids” is also one of the better recent openings for the filmmaker.

Maybe there’s hope for my “Confessions of a She-Fan” script now. As currently written, it’s an R-type romantic comedy and if Kristin Wiig wants to play the heroine, it would be more than okay with me.

 

Filed Under: Humor, Mainly Jane, Movie deals, Movies Tagged With: Bridesmaids, Confessions of a She-Fan

Royalty Checks Are Among Life's Great Pleasures

April 18, 2011

I got one in the mail today – a royalty check, that is. It wasn’t much money, but it was based on the German sales of my 1997 novel “Princess Charming” and it made me smile.

I love that the book is still selling after so many years. I love that it’s still selling in Germany, even though I’ve never been there. I love that it was inspired by John Jakes, the bestselling author whom I had the privilege of promoting when I worked in publishing. (John once said to me, “Write a book about a cruise. Cruises are funny material.” So the novel is set on a ship called the Princess Charming.) Most of all, I love that I get paid to write.

Receiving a check for something I’ve written is as big a thrill now as it was when my first novel was published in ’94. There’s such a huge sense of satisfaction knowing that someone was entertained by my words.

“Princess Charming” was optioned for a feature film way back when it was first published, and I had visions of the actresses who would play the three best friends embarking on the ill-fated seven-day cruise to the Caribbean. But nothing ever came of the project except a mediocre script, as so often happens in Hollywood. I guess it could still happen if a studio would remember the enormous success of “The First Wives Club.”

In the meantime, I’ll just be happy with my little royalty check from Germany and hope that one of these days I’ll travel there and say thank you.

 

 

Filed Under: Mainly Jane, Movie deals, Movies Tagged With: Bertlesmann, cruise ships, Germany, Goldmann Verlag, John Jakes, Princess Charming, royalties, The First Wives Club

A Tiny Update on "An Ex to Grind"

April 11, 2011

"An Ex to Grind"

No, the movie isn’t coming out tomorrow or even soon (if ever). But there was a little progress. One of the producers told me that Jeremy Garelick, the screenwriter, turned in a revised draft of the script and that it was “very good.” She also said it’s quite different from the book. I always expected that to happen, but now I’m eager to find out exactly how Garelick deviated from the story. The producer said she’d let me know what the next step will be and when I can read the script. I’m dying to get a look at it. Dying to.

 

Filed Under: Mainly Jane, Movie deals, Movies Tagged With: An Ex to Grind, FOX, Jeremy Garelick, Julie Yorn, Laura Bickford

A Little News About "An Ex To Grind"

March 4, 2011

Getty Images

Today I asked my agent if anything was happening on the development front. (You may remember that my novel, An Ex to Grind, was optioned for a film by 20th Century Fox to star Benecio Del Toro and Cameron Diaz as the warring ex-spouses?) She spoke to one of the producers, who said that screenwriter Jeremy Garelick (“The Break-Up,” “The Hangover”) had turned in a first draft of the script a few weeks ago and that he was now writing draft #2. “We’re on it and we’re very excited,” the producer told my agent.

I’m the one who’s excited, although I’m trying not to get my hopes up. I’ve had so many books optioned for movies that never got produced. Still, this is the first deal that’s made it to a writer’s second draft and had actual stars attached. That’s progress, isn’t it? Maybe – just maybe – this movie will actually show up on the big screen at some point. If so, you’re all invited to the premiere.

Filed Under: Mainly Jane, Movie deals, Movies

Flowers, A Restaurant, Tuna Fish….I'll Explain

February 1, 2011

It was my mother’s birthday last month. I went on proflowers.com and ordered her a dozen long-stemmed roses in pink, her favorite color. The gift was supposed to look exactly like this.

proflowers.com

Instead, she called to thank me for sending red roses.

proflowers.com

Nothing wrong with red roses. They just weren’t what I’d ordered. I called customer service at proflowers.com. They apologized for their mistake and offered me a refund.  Very nice, except that the next day my mother called to say the roses were half-dead. Proflowers had guaranteed they’d last a week. I got back on the phone with them and said I wanted another order sent to my mother asap.

“It was her 94th birthday,” I said. “Help me out here.”

“Sorry, but we already gave you a refund. We can’t send out another order.”

“But the flowers were pathetic,” I argued.

“Policy is policy.”

A few days later, I got an email from proflowers asking me if I was satisfied with their service and would I fill out their questionnaire. Oh, you bet.

I did not hold back in my evaluation of the company.

Today I got a call from the head of their customer service department.

“We’re very sorry for the way you were treated,” she said. “We want your business. We want to make this right. May we send you a gift coupon to use whenever you’d like?”

Now that’s the way to operate a business. When there’s a problem, you make it right. I will definitely give proflowers another chance.

A similar situation happened a few months ago. Michael and I went with friends to a high-end restaurant in Ventura called Watermark on Main Street.

It’s in a beautiful old landmark bank building, and we’d been there before and loved the food. This last time? Not so much. Everybody’s orders came wrong – from the fish that was overcooked to the beet salad that had exactly one beet in it. To top it off, the waiter brought us someone else’s tab when we asked for the check. Just a miserable evening. I was so disappointed that I went on the restaurant’s web site as soon as I got home and wrote to them about my experience. I didn’t expect to hear back. And yet….the next morning there was an email from the general manager.

“We want you to give us another try,” he wrote. “I’m sending you a gift certificate for another dinner.”

Wow, I thought. Of course I’ll give them another try.

I don’t consider myself a chronic complainer, but I did write to a company once before these two incidents. It was back in 2002 or so. I had opened a can of Bumble Bee tuna and found a huge bone in it. I could have choked! I taped the bone to my stationery and wrote a letter to Bumble Bee. The result? They sent me a dozen cans of tuna with their apologies. And that’s not all. I used the anecdote in my novel “Lucky Stars,” which is about a struggling actress and her pushy mother. After the mother finds a bone in her can of tuna, she visits the tuna company to inspect their quality control and ends up becoming the spokesperson in their TV commercials, which leads to stardom, which leads to conflict with her daughter, which leads to….Anyhow, the book was optioned for a feature film.

The point of this post is that contacting a company when you feel you’ve been wronged can lead to free flowers, a free meal, free tuna and maybe even a movie deal. You just never know.

Filed Under: Food, Mainly Jane, Movie deals Tagged With: Bumble Bee tuna, Lucky Stars, proflowers.com, roses, Ventura, Watermark on Main Street

Waiting and Hoping

January 21, 2011

Last year I posted the exciting news on the web site that An Ex to Grind had been optioned by Fox for a feature film.

"An Ex to Grind"

To be produced by Laura Bickford (“Duplicity”) and Julie Yorn (“Bride Wars”), the movie was packaged with Cameron Diaz and Benecio Del Toro attached to play bickering exes Melanie and Dan. What I’ve since learned is that Fox hired red-hot screenwriter Jeremy Garelick to adapt the novel. Who’s he? For starters, he wrote the script for the Vince Vaughn-Jennifer Aniston comedy “The Break-Up.” But he also was the uncredited scribe of the biggest comedy of 2009, “The Hangover.”

The last I heard he was supposed to deliver his “Ex to Grind” script by Christmas, but maybe he’s still working on it. All I know is I hope it’s good and I hope Fox likes it and I hope….Well, you know what I hope. I want one of my books on the big screen already!

Filed Under: Mainly Jane, Movie deals Tagged With: 20th Century Fox, An Ex to Grind, Benecio Del Toro, Bride Wars, Cameron Diaz, Duplicity, Jeremy Garelick, Julie Yorn, Laura Bickford

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About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.

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