Jane Heller

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Why Must Every Movie Be Remade/Rebooted/Rewhatever-ed?

January 31, 2011

The other day I read that Clint Eastwood will be directing a new version of “A Star Is Born.” Oh, and he’s cast Beyonce in the role of the woman whose talent eclipses that of her husband’s. Maybe you’ve watched the original with Janet Gaynor and Frederic March. Or maybe you’re a fan of the Judy Garland/James Mason version. (I’m raising my hand here; I love, love, love that one.) Or maybe you fell for Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson as the star-crossed lovers. My question is…Does the world really need yet another retelling of this story, which makes me cry every single damn time I watch it?

(Movie trailers sure were overheated in those days, weren’t they?)

Now HBO is committing the ultimate sacrilege when they unveil their remake of one of my all-time favorite oldies, “Mildred Pierce.” My husband Michael hates Joan Crawford and we argue about this movie whenever it’s on TCM (he says she looks like a drag queen), but I think she was terrific in it. I’ve seen it so many times I can recite almost every line of dialogue.

HBO’s “Mildred Pierce” won’t be a feature film but rather a mini-series that will air in March. I have great respect for Kate Winslet as an actress, but I just can’t picture her as Mildred. Cannot. And I’m trying, believe me.

See what I mean? The mini-series just seems – I don’t know – artificial, as if director Todd Haynes was trying to imitate the look and feel of the original only with more bells and whistles. I’m sure I’ll tune in the night it debuts, but I suspect that I’ll mutter throughout: “Why couldn’t they have left well enough alone.”

Filed Under: Mainly Jane, Movies Tagged With: A Star Is Born, Beyonce, Clint Eastwood, HBO, James Mason, Joan Crawford, Judy Garland, Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce

Comments

  1. Harold M. Bluenote says

    February 1, 2011 at 9:05 am

    Fascinating. Have to admit, neither of these cinematic oeuvres are exactly my cup of tea, though I must admire the acting, singing, et al of all the legendaries. The adult Judy G. always seemed to “oversing” to me — is that fair? Undoubtedly not. Just not my cup, tho’ I’ve always admired James Mason, the “Desert Fox.” Could care less about Babs and Kris’s version, tho’ my bride wanted “Evergreen” sung by one of her best friends at our wedding…
    Mildred. Hmm. Admit to further ignorance…but afraid that I do agree with Michael’s take on Joan C. It’s been tainted by ‘Mommie Dearest,’ of course, but there was always something spooky and unsettling about her, if you ask me (of course, you didn’t). Yet the plotline seems very intriguing…forgive me, but I could get into the miniseries due to my mind’s blank palette, and I believe my spouse would too…

  2. Jane Heller says

    February 1, 2011 at 9:22 am

    Funny you mention Judy G. as “oversinging,” Harold/Dave. I always felt that way about daughter Liza. (Btw, you did know she went to SHS, right? About four years ahead of us?) Judy, on the other hand, was that rare combination of singing talent and acting chops – for me, anyway. I hated “Evergreen!” Grrrrr. I guess it’s a man thing when it comes to Joan Crawford. And for sure “Mommie Dearest” didn’t help. But she was great in the old melodramas, the genre of movie I’m crazy about.

  3. Harold M. Bluenote says

    February 1, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    Ye godz…no, Miz Jane, I did NOT know about Ms. Minelli’s high school pedigree! That’s rather amazing…as I recall, you have at least one older sibling, as I do…and mine graduated four years earlier, too (but she was only there for two years). You make the superior point about Daughter Liza’s style. And I never cared for “Evergreen” either. We make concessions for our nuptials. Chacun a son gout, I guess.
    What I really like about the old old flicks is the lighting…they really knew how to use (and cast) shadows, esp. with the B&W movies. Too many long monologues for me, usually; but after all, society wasn’t so instantaneous then, back when we actually wrote (and read) long letters…

  4. Jane Heller says

    February 1, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Yup, Harold, Liza with a “Z” was in the class four years ahead of us. She even performed in the school play. I don’t think she was there long though, since her parents probably moved around a lot. You’re so right about the lighting in the b&w movies, especially the noir-ish ones. “Double Indemnity” and all the Bogart films are so cool to watch.

  5. mike fierman says

    February 1, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    I truly cannot understand why A Star Is Born must be re-made every generation. Considering Barbra’s ego etc, it wasn’t surprising that she made it and it could have been a great vehicle for her, but obviously it was a horror show.

    Normally i would have been outraged by a re-make of Mildred Pierce for all the reasons one could list, but I have to say that I am curious what Todd Haynes will do with it- I don’t see Winslett either, but she does always manage to surprise me with her range. I’m in the cautiously hopeful category on this one…

    I didn’t see it, but could you believe they re-made The Women?

  6. Jane Heller says

    February 1, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    Maybe you’re onto something, Mike, and the compulsion to remake “A Star Is Born” is generational. But seriously. Beyonce and…Diddy? There are some who think he can act (and sing), but I’m so not interested. The problem for me with the Streisand remake (well, I had many problems with it) was that we’d seen her play essentially the same part in “Funny Girl,” which I loved. I’m not as optimistic as you are about “Mildred.” I was not a fan of Haynes’ “Far From Heaven” or his movie about Bob Dylan. His directorial flourishes get in the way of my enjoyment of the stories. I do agree about Kate though. She can probably pull off any role. I didn’t see “The Women” remake either. I just know it was savaged by the critics. I felt sorry for Diane English. I think it was the first feature she directed after her successful helming of “Murphy Brown.”

  7. mike fierman says

    February 1, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    I think Ms English should have considered her follow-up more carefully. I can only imagine what a travesty it was…

  8. Jane Heller says

    February 1, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Do you see they’re remaking “Private Benjamin” with Anna Faris in the Goldie Hawn role, Mike? I don’t mind that so much. But if anyone dares to touch “Now Voyager” or “All Above Eve,” they’ll have me to deal with.

  9. mike fierman says

    February 1, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    you know i was going to mention All About Eve as the ultimate nightmare re-make scenario….

  10. Jane Heller says

    February 1, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    Let’s see…They’d probably cast Nicole Kidman as Margo and Natalie Portman as Eve.

  11. Freya says

    February 1, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    Those old ones were certainly spectacular.

  12. Melissa says

    February 1, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    I am a huge Garland fan – maybe all those viewings of the Wizard of Oz got to me! I think her version of “The Man that Got Away” is wonderful – but I’ve only heard it, not seen it, and that might be the difference! She was great in “Meet Me in St. Louis” and “The Gibson Girls.”
    I wish they would come up with something really good and original in Hollywood – oh wait! They have! “The Social Network” was fabulous. I haven’t seen “the Kings Speech” but am expecting good things due to Jane’s review and my love of Colin Firth.

  13. Jane Heller says

    February 1, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    That’s why they call them classics! I sure do love TCM. Do you watch that channel, Freya?

  14. Jane Heller says

    February 1, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    If you think Garland’s “The Man That Got Away” is good listening, Melissa, you must – and I mean must – rent “A Star Is Born” so you can see her singing it. Looking forward to your review of “The King’s Speech.” I honestly can’t think of anything not to like about it. The script isn’t as dazzling as “The Social Network,” but then they’re two different animals – both great.

  15. Freya says

    February 2, 2011 at 5:33 am

    I watch TCM sometimes – and I just received a gift subscription to Netflix

  16. Jane Heller says

    February 2, 2011 at 8:14 am

    A gift certificate to Netflix. What a good idea to get someone, Freya. I know a few people who would love that.

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About Jane Heller

Jane Heller is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her fourteen breezy, witty novels of romantic comedy and suspense are now entertaining millions of readers around the world, along with her two books of nonfiction.

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